House of Memories
by redheadclover
Summary: She's been rejected from society from the moment she was born because of her hearing impairment, but she found hope in working for the Resistance as their top mehanic and skilled pilot. With the rise of the First Order, Atta finds herself in over her head when she becomes the new target for the First Order, and for Kylo Ren. Will be survive? ((POE X OC))
1. Chapter 1

**Planet Jakku**

"This will begin to make things right," I stayed in the corner of the room near the opening of the small hut as the conversation was going on. I was keeping my eye on the village that we were in, seeing nothing but the darkness and feeling the peace there within the area. People were coming and going, not making me think that we should be afraid of them. I tapped the implant in my ear to see if I could hear anything on my radar and with my communications there in the earpiece. Nothing, nothing yet. In my mind, I was still thinking that we should be on alert, but of course, my partner that I flew out with on this mission, he was thinking that this was just another day on the job.

Of course, he did.

"Well, because of you we now have a chance. The General's been after this for a long time," I finally looked over at the two men, seeing my partner holding the small pouch within his hand and talking to the older gentleman there: Lord San Tekka. He knew of the General and what she had to offer with the Resistance, and we were glad to be out there on Jakku to get something vitally important. It was a clue, a clue that would lead us to someone that can make things right again in the galaxy.

" 'The General'? To me, she's royalty." Lor San Tekka said to my partner as I heard something beeping and whirling our way outside the hut, I looked back out to see the small rolling droid that was coming our way in such a rush that it made me panic. I shifted a bit now, almost in a defensive kind of stance as I saw him right in front of me, talking to me.

BB-8.

"Well, she certainly is that." My partner replied as the droid was explaining to me what was going on. I shot a look to my partner, over my shoulder now.

"Poe," I said to him in a warning as BB-8 rolled into the room and communicated with Poe in earnest. Poe looked over at me as I could hear something in my earpiece, having me squint a bit as something was coming in and I could hear what was going on.

 **"Prepare for landing, find them at all costs."** It was clear within my ear as I looked back at Poe in horror, seeing him then shoot his eyes over to Tekka.

'We've got company." All of us rushed out from the hut and into the open, seeing some of the people walking around and hearing nothing but a soft noise in the distance of something landing, more than one of them landing. Poe grabbed his quadnoculars, looking through at the sight in front of us now as I saw what he was looking at. Vessels, carriers mostly, coming into the atmosphere and about to land at the outer edge of the village. Poe lowered the device, seeming like he was about to be in fear as I was too. This was not part of the plan, and we had no idea what to do then. It was supposed to be quiet, not this.

"You need to hide," I warned Lor San Tekka now in my own eyes.

"You two need to leave," He said to Poe and me, the both of us watching him and he nodded, "Go!" I watched Poe, seeing him think to himself as they were getting close and closer now to the village, and the chaos was about to begin. We had what we wanted, what we needed in order to make things right and get things rolling, so we had to get out of dodge now before it could all go downhill from here.

"Poe," I said to Poe, seeing him finally turn his eyes away from Tekka and nodding at me, BB-8 chirping in agreement. The three of us were off, running as fast as we could and I was trying to keep up with Poe, BB-8 right behind us. We had to get more space between us, right between us and what was going to happen. A part of me wanted to go back and protect the people there since they were about to be slaughtered. But we weren't meant to be there for that reason.

"Come on, BB-8! Hurry!" He urged BB-8 now as we were trying to move through the hills now and the firing was now being heard, cries were exploding in the air and everything was flashing all around us. We finally made it over to Poe's X-Wing, my own X-Wing was tucked away in another part of the area, further down and hiding behind a hill that no one can really see and I thought would be more convenient and better hidden.

"Get to your X-Wing!" Poe ordered me as he was about to hop into his X-Wing and BB-8 was swooped up into this spot into the vessel. But I shook my head, grabbing my blaster in my hand from my hip and I walked over in a brisk pace, leaning over the top of the sandhill to aim at any of the stormtroopers that were shooting at the villagers.

"You need cover!" I said back to him, hearing him sigh as I charged up my blaster.

"I'm not leaving you here on the ground, you out of your mind?!" He asked me as more shots were heard. I started firing, getting out one or two of the ten stormtroopers that spotted us and were firing at us now.

I could hear the cannon gun on the X-Wing moving around and I kept my eyes on the enemy that was coming closer and closer now, hearing him take a few shots from the X-Wing. Poe was trying to fend them off now as well as I was. I barely escaped one that was about to hit me hard in the chest, but it got to the vessel first, blazing it up and having me look back in horror. Poe was screwed, he was not going to be able to get out of there. I had to think, what were we going to go?"

 **"Look for the old man. He has what we're looking for!"** I heard them again in my implant as Poe got out from the X-Wing, his rifle blaster in hand and he bolted over to where I was, ducking down to get on one knee and take out the artifact that Tekka gave him, pulling it out from the pouch.

"You take this. It's safer with you than it is with me. You get as far away from here as you can. Do you hear me?" He talked to BB-8 as he placed it in the Multi-reader envelope that BB-8 had. I thought he was crazy to give it to his droid, even with BB-8 being a loyal droid to his master, this was insane. BB-8 chirped at him now in a nervous kind of matter, he didn't want Poe to do this.

"I'll come back for you! It'll be alright." Poe reassured him now as he then looked over at me, a small look of determination was in his eyes as he bolted over to me, BB-8 reluctantly rolling away now as we were standing next to each other with our weapons.

"You left it with BB-8? What if they get it?" I asked him over the firing that was getting louder and louder now.

"It's safer with him! He won't let them get to it!" Poe replied, having me look back ahead and fire a bit more with Poe next to me. This was getting out of hand, and we had to get out of here quick with BB-8. I had to think of a plan for the both of us to leave this planet, along with BB-8, alive and in one piece.

"We can make it to my X-Wing!" I said to Poe as he got another trooper down from his shot.

"We can't both fit in it!" He countered back with me as I got one more with my own gun, seeing a larger vessel coming down slowly and the both of us looking up in what seemed to be horror. This one looked more sinister, black all around and was another shuttlecraft that was bigger and more edgy landing near the other shuttle crafts. The villagers were rounded up in the middle, having me see Lor San Tekka being escorted to the middle now by two stormtroopers.

"What do we do?" I asked Poe in a whisper as the bay doors for the bigger craft was opening, more stormtroopers and a black figured man coming out, walking over to our ally in a determined stride.

"Go back to your ship, call for help, but get out of here," Poe said to me in his own hushed tone as I shot him a look.

"You crazy?" I asked him in a hiss, "I'm not going back without you."

"Don't argue with me," He snapped back at me, but before I could even argue back at him the dark figure spoke to Tekka now, his voice sounding more mechanical than anything and it gave me a bolt of fear down my spine.

"Look how old you've become," He said to Tekka, leering down at him since he was a bit taller from his spot. But I saw Tekka hold his spot, looking back at the black figure now with more wisdom and almost with a hint of shame.

"Something far worse had happened to you." he replied to him now, having me shift a bit now and have more a sick feeling that something was going to go from bad to worse.

"You know what I've come for."

"I know where you come from. Before you called yourself Kylo Ren." Tekka answered him back.

"The map to skywalker. We know you've found it, and now you're going to give it to the First Order." I felt Poe shirting too next to me, almost to where I was now and having me think that he was thinking the same thing: trouble.

"The first Order rose from the dark side, you did not."

"I'll show you the dark side."

"You may try, but you cannot deny the truth that is your family." I felt as though we were watching a conversation that should be private, and I heard nothing from the back figure now as he was looking down at Tekka for a moment or two like he was drinking it in.

"You're so right," it all happened at once, a lightsaber was in his hand and before I could even blink, he sliced it own on Tekka now. Tekka fell tot he ground within seconds, and I felt a gasp escape my lips from what I just saw. I saw a murder there, right in front of me from this man who apparently was with the First Order. I didn't think it happened, but it was so fat that I couldn't think of anything else to do. But then I had another problem on my hand, hearing something from Poe now as I looked over in a shocked face. He was gone.

"Oh no,"

He shot his rifle blaster at the figure, but as soon as he did that, the figure threw out his hand and he somehow stopped the blast from hitting him. In fact, it froze in midair and Poe was somehow stuck too, a hold was on him and I realized what it was. The figure, he was a Jedi, and he was making Poe frozen there in his spot and not able to move. I was still out sight, not able to be seen as two stormtroopers grabbed Poe now and walked him over to the figure, apparently Kylo Ren. I felt obligated to go after him, to stop Poe from getting hurt, but then again Poe would be hating me at the moment. I saw him look at the frozen blast in midair as he walked by it, then his eyes finding me there and I saw him lock his eyes with me. He shook his head once, having me see that he wanted me to stay.

He wanted me to stay out of it.

He was brought to his knees, Kylo Ren then going to squat in front of him to be at the same level, I had to watch and I was about to hear some more beeping behind me, having me freeze and immediately look my gaze behind me to find that it was BB-8. Apparently he didn't go far now, having me look back at Poe once more and then feel obligated to go to BB-8. He was not supposed to be here since Poe sent him away and he still had the artifact.

"You need to leave, you heard your master." I hissed at BB-8 as I now moved over to him now and knelt down in front of him, hearing BB-8 chirp back at me now as I now was confused as to what he was telling me.

"A map?" I asked him now, then hearing another round of firing again from the village and I felt as thought my own heart dropped. I wanted to go back and find Poe, thinking that he was still alive and that he was spared, but the firing was getting more and more intense, BBp8 using one of his mechanical arms to tug at me. He wanted me to get away now as I clung onto my blaster within my hand. I was torn: go after Poe or run for myself and for BB-8. I had to take that latter, Poe had to fend for himself, much for my dismay.

"Come on, BB-8," I said to him as we both then moved over to the area where I knew my X-Wing was going to be. We were running again, along the sand and hearing more and more cries of death and pain from the villagers now. It felt wrong for me to run, to get away and leave Poe behind. I knew he could handle himself, he always has been able to handle himself. But this time, it felt wrong, being taken by the First Order. He had to know what he was doing, right?

"We need to get out of here, come on!" I urged BB-8 some more as we were trying to move out of the way and out of sight from what was going on in the village. I was sprinting at this point, feeling my heart about to be pumped out of my chest over and over again now as I then was shot in my lower left calf, having me fall to the floor. Someone shot at me, having em grunt out in pain as my own blast fell out of my hands and I hit the dirt real hard. This was bad, real bad as the soaring pain was coming through my leg and into my chest and over my face like a heat wave. Someone shot me, someone wanted to stop me as I then saw BB-8 beep at me in worry.

"Go! Get out of here!" I said to him now, almost trying to shove him away from me now as he was about to try and look at my wound. It was like what Poe said, BB-8 and to get far away from here and be safe, he had what the First Order wanted and if they got to the droid first, then all would be lost. BB-8 quivered a bit, the sound of footsteps were coming right behind me now as the droid then rolled away now since I could tell someone was coming and he was trying to bolt away now.

I finally turned the searing pain of my leg having me gasp out as I was back on my back again and looking up at the sky. A stormtrooper was looming over me now, his weapon in his hand now and he was looming over me. I honestly thought I was going to die at that point, that this stormtrooper was going to either turn me in with Poe or shoot me there in the sand and end it once and for all.

There was blood on his helmet, four lines there that looked like fingers that were there and was smeared off. It was almost frightening for me to see, and I stayed so still thinking that he was going to blast me at any moment. But nothing happened, moment after moment he didn't do a single thing. What was he going to do?

"Please," I asked him, having me think that it was going to be pathetic for me to say it like that to him. I didn't know what else to say, and it seemed like a doomed thing for me to ask him to spare my life. He looked at me some more, but then I saw him look over his shoulder at the village again, his stance was rigid and almost like he was not wanting to be there. It was not like a stormtrooper, to look more frigid and spook compared to the others. When he looked back at me, I thought I saw his stance soften a bit now.

"I'm sorry." he said to me, raising his blaster and them hitting me across the face with it, having me black out and seeing nothing but black.


	2. Chapter 2

_I guess I should start at the very beginning._

 _The planet I came from was all about being perfection, from the moment you were born to the point you die, you are meant to be perfect. It was almost like a conceited race, striving to be the best in their field when it came to education and technology. Thousands of years of programming and breeding the best on the planet was all my parents knew, They were perfect in every kind of way, their brains, their looks and appearance, and how they went on in their day. It was almost a too perfect kind of planet that I came from. My parents wanted the same when they were told that they were going to have a child, and they had high hopes._

 _But when I was born, it was all shattered into a million pieces._

 _I was born with no hearing in my right ear, and minutes after I was born, I was registered as a "defect" in my community. That was another thing that was a bit bizarre to other communities when they look at our own. We were proud of how we looked and how we achieved out greatness, but for those who were born with something that was part of the criteria, they were automatically called second class citizens, even third class if it was severe. It's happened plenty of times, children born with one less finger or with a learning disability. For me, it was the hearing problem. My left ear was perfectly fine, but the right side had nothing in there. My parents were mortified, almost in shame for what was happening to me when they stamped my birth certificate with the 2nd class stamp there right on the top._

 _My destiny was already placed there, set in stone._

 _Those from a second class rank are treated differently, even from walking down the street to getting an education. I was not going to be at the top school, nor was I going to get the proper treatments at medical centers. My job criteria ultimately were going to be lower than the typical jobs, maintenance, and blue collar work. It was not going to be a good life for me, all from the deafness. Even with my parents trying to fit me with the best kind of implant on the market so I could have some kind of a fight chance, it was still too dim for me._

 _They knew it, and that's what lead me to their abandonment._

* * *

 **Planet Jakku**

Something bright was now over me now, having me gasp awake from something shifting over me, almost like a jolt down to the back. I shot up, not remembering where I was and what was going on. Everything was hot, all over me was hot and sticky, almost too much for me to handle than as something was draped over me like a shield. It was a trap from one of the huts, and it was covering my legs and hips now as I was slowly understanding what was going on and how I got there in the first place. It was all coming back to me, over and over again like a broken replay button.

Poe, where was Poe?

I tried to get up, but I gasped out in pain as my leg was still injured. I moved the drape out of the way. finally seeing the damage of what happened there and I squinted from just seeing it. A large wound was along my calf, a clean cut but still looking a bit too gruesome for my sake. There was blood there, caked onto my skin and it almost made me get sick, and I couldn't tell from where I was on the ground on how bad it was and if I could really move it. I reached over to touch the outer edges, feeling it for a moment to two before I could find out what to do next. It stung, the aching feeling of a wound that spent hours in one spot and is now in need of being moved around. I couldn't really move it anymore, not too much now as I then looked around again, knowing that I would need to wrap it and try to stop any more pain to come over me.

"You can do this, you can do this," I said to myself over and over again, but the once I used my voice, I could hear it was off. No wonder things didn't feel right, my implant wasn't in anymore. It was moved, or someone took it out while I was knocked out. Was it the stormtrooper, his face was now back within my own brain, the helmet that had the blood there like it was marked like he was marked. It was haunting me, how he looked at me and tilted his head to the side at me. I then thought of what he told me before knocking me out finally.

 _"I'm Sorry."_

I ripped some of the tarp that was still near me and got it small enough to wrap it around my calf. I got it around the muscle and the skin, crying out slightly now as the rough material was touching the one wound and it was making it feel a lot worse than before. I was going to take care of it later, much later, but for now, I had to get this taken care of now and in a way that can last me for such a long time. It got it tied up, finally, and with a bit of maneuvering around, I got up on both of my feet again and got to look around again to see what was going on around me.

There was only smoke, smoking rising up still from the ground below, and a full shift of a scent of something burning, something bad and nasty. I wondered what it was, and it almost made me cover my mouth from not breathing it in anymore. There were hardly any more huts that were still standing, let alone anyone there at all. God, how long was I out for? What else was left there to see? I wanted to find out more in the village, I still ended one more thing, having me find my gaze go to the ground a bit to see if I was going to find it Finally, there it was, along the side of the tarp and under it a bit and near the sand. I hobbled over to it a bit and grunted with every move went on my limb and reached down, dusting the sand off a bit and blowing the rest of it off and the other debris that was there.

My Implant.

I was still wondering why it was out of my ear in the first place, having me feel like someone did that on purpose as some kind of trick or a way to make me weak. But I placed it back in my ear again, getting used to it once more and the hearing was back to normal again. One thing was done, but I felt like there was plenty more to do then.

I waddled over to the village, or what used to be the village. it was all gone, blown to bits and nothing was left standing really. All of the huts that used to be there was now leveled down flat, and I could see where the blasters tore into the huts that used to stand. Everything was destroyed, beyond destroyed. But when I gazed over to the middle the village, I saw a huge pile of back there, and it took me a moment or two to realize what it was:

Burned bodies.

I kept my mouth covered from the stench of the burning pile away from me some more, more smoke was still coming out of it now as a turn of my stomach and making me hate the First Order more from what they did to all of these poor souls and people. Why would they do something like this? it was' right at all in the slightest.

I kept peering around, trying to find some kind of clue as to where I should go from there if I should even stay there in the blistering heat and the death that I was feeling over and over again. I had to start at square one again, and I was about to move to face the outer part of the town when something happened, something that has never happened to me before.

 _I saw a flashed image of a map in my head. Not really a map, but mostly of coordinates that looked like a map. It came across my brain and had me almost lost within a moment or two. I saw could it in my hear, clear as day and almost crystal clear. I saw where it was trying to point to, and before I could even figure it out, even more, the image was gone. I was back on Jakku again._

"What in the…" I trailed off, not realizing what it was that I was seeing. How is it that I saw this? Why was I seeing this? It was like it was imprinted in my head and I had no way or getting it out. This was just another thing for me to worry about and to figure out on my own. But I had to find my X-Wing again, and I hope that it was where I placed it last the night before and, after all, went down with Poe and the First Order.

I had to get out of here.

After walking for a good couple of minutes and seeing where I was locally now, I finally understood where to find my X-Wing again. My leg was killing me, my head was spinning from what happened the night before, and the heat was seeping under my skin and into my muscles. But finally, after plenty of walking and more of the wound aching all over my leg now, I saw the small kind of hiding spot I made for the X-Wing. it was well hidden behind a high sand hill, a tarp that was the same color of the sand there and the area was placed over the top and the sides to make it well hidden. I sighed in relief, seeing that I accomplished one more thing on my list.

"Hello you," I said in a blissful moment as I grabbed the trap and pulled it over and down from the X-Wing now, using a bit more strength because of my bummed leg. There she was, my X-Wing that I kept up every day and took good care of from the moment she was assigned to me. I loved this X-Wing, had my personal touches here and there now as I was limping over to touch the sides with my tanned fingers that were already about to be sunburned from the weather.

The metal was a bit hot, having a squint a bit from feeling it and then making my way over to the cockpit and the ladder that was still on the edge. If there was going to be any kind of way for me to get back to the base, I would have to start from trying to communicate to the base. Then again, I thought of Poe and where he might be. I was scared for him, since the last time I saw him, Poe was at the mercy of Kylo Ren, whoever that was. Poe could be anywhere, and that was scaring me right there next to the X-Wing as I touched it once again, feeling it being a wee bit cooler now under my fingers.

"Poe, where are you?" I asked in a harsh whisper.

* * *

 **Planet D'Qar**

 **Six years earlier**

They were looking at me, all of them were looking right at me now as I was walking with my mechanic backpack over my shoulder and y head down low now. It was another round of routine for me, having em walk over to my own X-Wing now that they assigned me to and I was about to be one of them: a pilot. After I was offered the job, by General Organa herself from seeing me and my handiwork with the mechanics of the X-Wings, she thought it would be best for me to try and learn how to fly. I didn't know whether or now if it was because she needed more pilots, or she saw something in me that she wanted, but she promoted me.

So why was I feeling like shit?

"Oh God, not the cripple."

"Anyone but her, she can't hear a damn thing!"

It was everywhere, all of those voices and those comments were hanging above me and around me like it was some kind of net that was not going to let me breathe and escape. I was used to it, the talks and the rumors, how they would underestimate me. Since I was a child and growing up with my grandfather as my caretaker I knew what it meant to be the outsider and to be judged upon. It was not a part of me, as much as I hated to admit it and say it, but it was. I only thought it would be better for me since I was older and on a different planet.

But I guess not.

The X-Wing they gave me, one of the more rusty ones that stayed on the last one on the left on the hanger strip outside of the base, having me look at it up and down, it could use some work, plenty of work, which is why I knew why they gave it to me. They wanted to give me the last X-Wing that was really a last resort, but in my mind, it was going to be one of the best X-Wings out there.

I was going to make it my own.

"You think Organa would have some kind of clue as to who to get as a pilot these days. But a degenerate? Good grief," I paused there, hearing the two pairs of feet that were right behind me and having me hold the straps on my shoulder some more in a vice grip. I wanted to turn around, to yell at them to leave me be since they still thought I was not good enough to be one of them, to be a pilot.

"Why don't you guys go and find something better to do, like working on your own flying. Leave her alone," Someone told them off with a bit of a vice in their tone, having me freeze there and not move since I didn't know how said that out loud. It was a new voice, maybe a new pilot there at the base.

"Whatever, Dameron. Way to be cocky." One of the other pilots said back to my savior of a person.

"And way to be an asshole," The first one, apparently named Dameron but back at him, the other two walking off then without saying a word or two as I stayed still. I didn't know what to do, frozen like I was stuck within cement in my boots there. As soon as I could tell nothing else was going to happen, I then felt it: a hand on my shoulder. It was shot, almost scared to touch my own shoulder then.

"Hey," the pilot said to me in a careful tone, my hands still gripping my shoulder strap and hoping that I was not going to be able to turn around and face him because of the shyness that was threatening to come over me, "You okay?"

"I'm okay," I replied back to him in a shaky tone, and I felt stupid then abounding like that because it seemed like I was about to cry in how I said it.

"Look, you don't have to worry about those guys. They're basic pilot jockeys that don't know how to be nice," He tried to reason with me, having me not know what he looked like but hear the kindness in his voice. It was very kind, almost like he really wanted to help me and was now just sounding like that to make it less of a pain.

"They don't know their compressors from their overdrive function any who," I said in almost a joke now, thinking that it was somehow the only thing that I could say to him. Out of the blue, he started to chuckle then, from my joke. It was kind of morbid for me to say that to him, but at least, he chuckled after all.

"I get that joke, actually," he voiced, having me finally looked over my shoulder at him, my cochlear implant was in clear sight for this Dameron man to see. There he was, looking right at me and I could see his face finally. He was handsome to see, that much was certain as I saw the shade of brown in his eyes, how they looked so young and yet seasoned at the same time. He had wavy trimmed hair, brown to the point of being black that fitted him so well. Wearing a pilot jacket over his regular attire, he finally released his hand from my shoulder now and he placed the arm back down at his side.

"I'm Poe Dameron," he introduced himself to me now, the kind tone was back there in his voice now as he then held out his hand for me to shake with him. I looked down at the hand, not knowing what to do next and if it would be the right choice to do this. He was the genuine first friend I made there that honestly cared. But this was the life I have chosen, to not let my disability be that, a disability. I shook it then and there, a small smile on my face.

"Atta," I replied to him, "Atta Teckno."


	3. Chapter 3

**Planet Jakku**

"Dammit," I huffed, shoving the piece I was working on out of the way now in annoyance as I was looking down at my cockpit again, seeing the damage that was already set in stone there. I knew it was bad enough, someone messed with m X-Wing enough to make it impossible for me to fly it again.

The whole cockpit was shredded, top to bottom now.

I sighed, placing my hands on the metal there and closing my eyes, trying to clear my head now as to what I was supposed to do next. Since I couldn't fly the damn thing for anything now, I was stuck there, on the desert planet, until I could get my hands on something that could take me back to the Resistance. The heat was getting bad now since the sun there was rising higher and higher now with a vengeance, wanting me to feel it down to my bones and make me experience how it felt being a pathetic life form compared to the power of the sun.

I've never felt this stuck before, not really since I learned how to be a mechanic. But this didn't seem right, not to me. For some reason, it felt like someone was trying to find something in my X-Wing, not wanting to destroy it. If they wanted to destroy it, it would be on fire and a pile of metal and ashes by now, like Poe's X-Wing. Goddamnit, Poe. He got me dragged into this, and I wanted to smack him so bad the next time I saw him. But this situation was still weighing heavily on my mind, who would only destroy the cockpit and nothing else? Were they leaving it this way for a reason? Was there even a reason?

Someone was heard nearby, a small voice but enough for me to grab my attention. I perked up, looking over to the right back out in the blazing sun of the desert, the voice was being carried over by something in the direction of the village and I grabbed my backpack, the one thing that was not touched nor destroyed, and threw it on over my shoulder blades. I was having to think fast, and if they were lifeforms, then there had to be some other town nearby for me to get to and find a way off this planet. If I had to resort into squabbling for a ride on a transporter, to at least getting my hands on one.

So be it.

I left my X-Wing there, walking out into the sun again and over towards where the sound was coming from. I was getting back to the village again, my bummed leg was still aching but I was slowly getting used to it and my movements with it now as I was getting closer and hearing more of the conversation. There were two voices, talking to each other as I got to the edge of one of the remaining huts and peered around the corner, not wanting to be seen. They were on their own kind of transportation vehicle, enough to fit the both of them yet they were small enough and scrawny enough for me to take them both out if I wanted to.

They were scavengers, I could tell in how they both were outside the vehicle and moving through the ashes and debris for something to grab. They were talking in their own language now, having me think to myself on how I could do this and, at least, get my hands on the vehicle. It wasn't going to be easy, but it wasn't going to be impossible either. But something caught my eyes, laying out on the floor there between myself and them and hiding under a few pieces of destroyed hut parts. It was a blaster, a stormtrooper blaster that was ready for the taking. I grinned.

I had a plan.

I reached into my backpack then, trying not to make a sound as I did this and I grabbed a small little tool that I knew I could use in order to distract them enough. It was one of the wrenches holding it in my hand and looking for the right time to throw it, at least, chuck it really. They were still talking to each other, more like an argument and bickering at one another. Once it looked like the best time to do it, I got a good enough momentum to throw the wrench, overshooting them both and hearing it clunk over at a chunk of debris. They both looked, running over there to see what made the noise and I bolted, running over to grab the blaster within seconds. I had to be quick about it since I had no idea if they had weapons on themselves then. Once I got my own hands around the blaster, I pulled it out in time to hear the both of them about to run back over to me.

"Thief!" One of them said to me now as I then aimed the blaster at the both of them. They froze, the lifeforms were now looking at me with their wide beaming eyes in fear as I was standing there at a standstill and watching them both to see if they were going to do something. Not one person moved as I took in a deep breath and found a new sense of strength there.

"Where is the nearest town from here?"

* * *

 **Niima Outpost**

I hopped out of the transporter, making it to the outpost there in the middle of nowhere now and I look around to see if I could find the right place to talk to someone. It still sunk in that I had to leave my X-Wing behind, but it was nowhere near close enough for me to fix it and fly back to base. If I wanted to fix it, then I would have the find the parts here in this place, but I doubted they had the parts I really needed. This was a scrap kind of place, and their parts would be mediocre. I could work with it, but I didn't really want to fly out of the sky after a few thrusts of the engine.

No, I had to think back to square one.

I walked over to the center area of the place, seeing most of the action being there and some of the test already set up with vendors there. Maybe one of them knew how to get out of here or knew where to get a transporter or some kind of vehicle. There was a larger structure, almost in the middle of the whole place now and some lifeforms were going in and out with their junk, so it made me wander over there a bit more. This time, I had the blaster were on my hip and under the jacket, not wanting to raise a few eyebrows from what I was carrying and get in more trouble than what was worth. I was only thinking of getting out there and finding out where the hell Poe went.

Once I got into the structure, the eyes of all the lifeforms were on me now as I looked around to see whom I should take to. They were all frozen, not moving as they were thinking I was some kind of troublemaker, I could see it in their faces and how they were staying so still around me. I just looked ahead then, seeing the smaller booth of a thing there in the middle and the larger being behind the bars. He was watching me, a scowl on his large and grotesque look on his face as I finally walked over, thinking that he had to be the one that I had to talk to.

"I need a transporter that can take me to a planet in the mid-rim system," I explained to him calmly, keeping my hands at my side now as he was watching me up and down now, thinking to himself now if he could trust me. I was a bit lower than him, seeing him tower over me from his spot behind the counter top.

"I don't make deals with foreigners," He replied in a low tone of a snarl, having me keep my eyes on him now and see that he was getting a bit shifty with me there within his own safe area.

"I'm just looking for a transporter that can take me to my home planet, how much as are you selling?" I asked him now with a different question.

"You wouldn't have enough if I told you," He answered.

"You don't know that unless you tell me your price," I reasoned with him, trying to be polite about it now as he stood there for a moment or two of thinking to himself. I eyed him, seeing him then have a look about him as he answered me.

"I don't have any," I cocked my head at him. If there was one blessing in my curse of a disability, it was how I could read a person's face. Whether they were talking or just staring at me, I could read them better than other. I had to learn to not rely on my hearing since it wasn't an option. I was more observant of the reading of lips, hearing the sentences within my brain without actually hearing it. It was the same with body language, I could pick up when someone was telling the truth or lying in how they were standing, shifting their eyes, or just anything else that they would do in order to hide their falsehood. This guy was lying, and I couldn't help but bring it up with him.

"You're lying," I said to him in more of a statement, seeing him look at me like I offended him.

"What did you say?" He asked me, already having me see that he was about to get a bit heated with me from how I was presented myself with him.

"You're lying to me, I can tell," I explained to him calmly now, folding my hands in front of him now as he almost snarled at me, "You're shifting your eyes at me, not keeping them set of me, and your shifting you body weight from one leg to another, plus your answer with me was short and almost too blunt." He was analyzing me like I was exposing him in front of everyone, and it was killing him. I could see it, and he was really considering killing me then and there.

"I don't know where you get off…" He said to me, pointing his finger at me now as I was about to just be done with him. He was not going to tell me what I wanted, and I had to resort to the good ol' fashion method that I knew that would work in order to have other listen to me and what I had to say:

Violence.

I grabbed his finger within a second, twisting it and bending it up within a second and hearing him scream as the bone broke within a moment. The others in the room were still silent, more stunned now as I saw him howl in pain and I released my hold on him now. Within a second, I threw up my blaster, aiming at him right between the eyes. He was frozen, his eyes wide and in fear now as I had the blaster so close to his face. I didn't want to shoot him, but I was going to use it more as a scare tactic than anything.

"You're with the Resistance," He stated to me almost in a bit of shock there as he was cradling his broken finger there within his other hand.

"I don't want trouble, I just want a vehicle and the faster you do that, the faster I'll be out of there." I said to him calmly, but keeping the blaster up to his face now as he then eyed something on the side of my head, I could see his eyes shifting as he then gingerly pointed to my implant with his nonwounded hand,

"Your device," he said to me, having me pause a bit and look at him in confusion now as he said it as if he was interested in it.

"What of it?"

"I'll give you a transporter, in exchange for that device," He explained to me now as I was looking at him with a bit of shock there on my face, "Those run for a hefty price around here….very hefty."

"Why do you need it?" I asked him, sounding a bit more on the defensive side about it than anything since it was my own device that was given to me, that was made for me.

"You wanted a transporter, I'm giving you one for that device." I stayed still when he said this. It was odd for him to want such a simple thing. For parts? For more money to be placed in his back pocket? What could be the real reason, but it felt like he was now jabbing me in the heart then. This was the only thing that I have every key, ever wanted in my life that was grounded and sure: my implant. It was my link to the rest of the galaxy, to be able to communicate and talk to people. And he wanted to take it away from me now. I lowered my baster then, placing it back on my hip and eyeing him with a hint of a glare there. I turned on him, before looking over my shoulder at him and saying something to him.

"It's not for sale."

* * *

 **Planet D'Qar**

 **5 years earlier**

I was fixing up my X-Wing, another routine for me to do with my own backpack at my feet and my fingers thumping against the metal there on my vessel. My own droid was doing some of the matienance work there along the side, getting some of the broken pieces fixed with his extended hand. It was my own BB Unit, assigned to me the day after I got my X-Wing and the day after I officially met Poe Dameron.

I knew a little bit about him before we met, seeing him walk to and fro from the hanger over to his vessel with his BB unit, BB-8 right behind him. I never talked to him, though, and why should I? At the time, he was a pilot, and I was a mechanic. The only time I would never need to talk to him was to see if he needed an upgrade on his own X-Wing, which was never. He did that himself, a proud thing for him to so as some of the other pilots did that too. So there was never really a reason for us to talk, not to mention look at each other since I barely recognized him from that day when he defended me to the others.

Since then, he's been talking to me.

I don't mind it, but I'm still shocked by it really. He finds me interesting to talk to, genuinely interesting. I would think the novelty would have worn off by the time we were doing missions and such, but no such luck. I wasn't annoyed with him, nor was I thinking of him more out of my league in friendship.

It was just a simple question as to why me?

That day I had my implant out, liking to work in the since there end not having to listen to the chatter and the banging of the other mechanics at work around me on other vessels. I preferred to work in the silence, it was calming and enduring for me to have my own thoughts in my head. My implant was perched on top of the wing near my face as I was getting another part on the side working out properly, feeling it through with my fingers and trying to find the part where I knew it was broken. I was too transfixed within my own thought bubble when I felt a touch on my arm. Without even thinking about it I jumped, almost hitting the side of my X-Wing and looking over to see who did that. With a spooked look on his face and both hands raised in defense, it was Poe.

Crap, I scared him.

He was talking to me, but all I could get was that he was saying, _"I'm sorry,"_. I saw his lips moving to say that sentence, but nothing came out of his mouth. I asked him, _"What?"_ but I the heard my own muffled and off tone. I didn't have the implant in, having me point at him to wait as I looked back at where I placed the device, reaching up to place it back in my ear. Everything was loud again, for a moment now as I could hear the roaring of my BB Unit tapping and working on my X-Wing and the other sounds of working being done, along with the chatter of the pilots.

"I'm sorry for scaring you," he said to me now in a calm tone, having me smile at him and wave him off in almost a jumpy manner.

"it's fine. That was my fault, I didn't have my implant in," I explained, tapping it with my finger and seeing him watch it now in intrigue as I said that to him, "What did you need?"

"Wanted to see if you wanted to grab some food before we go into more training," He recommended to me with a shrug of his shoulders. I gave him an interesting look, almost like it was some kind of a joke for him to ask me since he was so popular on the base. But then again, we have been training and talking together on a constant rotation, so I shouldn't be that surprised. I nodded my head as my BB unit stopped his worked and looked over at me.

"I'll be fine, you get to work and we can look over it when I get back," I reassured the droid, hearing him beep at back at before looking at Poe in a weary kind of way. It made me roll my eyes as both Poe and I were walking together shoulder to shoulder now away from my vessel and into the middle of the strip, over to the hanger.

"Your droid doesn't like me," he said in a casual manner, having me chuckle a bit.

"He's not a big fan of anyone these days," I said to him, not wanting to bring up the fact that my BB Unit and I were growing close. He would scare off the other pilots when I wasn't looking, thinking that they were going to make fun of me yet again. Such a protective droid, and yet I didn't mind it at all.

I could see it again, even after walking for a moment or two with the golden boy, the eyes that were on the pair of us as we were walking together like it was just another day at the base. But I could see them, and it made me really want to question Poe if he wanted to walk with someone like me,

"You know they're looking right at us," I wanted him under my breath.

"Who?" Poe asked as if he had no idea what was going on.

"Everyone. You really want to walk with someone like me?" I asked him carefully now, wanting to hear what he was thinking about in his head and how he was feeling about this. He had a reputation, I knew that for sure and for him to do this would really stain it, at least in my head. But he smiled and looked over at me.

"I'm walking with my friend," he replied as if it was really nothing. I couldn't help but smile back. It was in that moment when I knew I landed a good friend on my hands, a friend that didn't see my implant or hear it in my voice.

He saw me, and he like it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Planet Anthan Prime**

 **18 Years Ago**

I watched the stars again, looking up at the midnight sky as I could hear my grandfather open the door behind me at the house we lived in, an old shack of a place that was on the outskirts of town. I couldn't sleep again, my thoughts were back on my parents and how I haven't seen them in years now. It was still haunting me, a bad dream that was a reality. I itched at my implant, feeling how heavy it was against my head and the constant thoughts of my parents looking at it in horror and disgust like they hated what I was.

"What are you doing out here, little one?" He asked me now in a huff as he walked over to the broken down land speeder that we would use on as practice for my mechanic trade. I was getting the hang of it, grime and dirt under my fingers and my mind focusing on tasks at hand. It was enough for me to get by, but not enough to stop thinking about my parents. I sighed, looking over at my grandfather now as he was watching me with sleep in his eyes. He was older in his years. already showing signs of aging and weariness, the wrinkles along his eyes and his calloused hands from years of being a mechanic himself.

"They're not going to come back for me, aren't they?" I asked him in a low tone and signing at the same time, seeing him watch me as I was waiting for an answer that I knew he was not going to give me. I knew the truth, but a part of me still wanted to hear it from him, hoping that I would. He sighed, rubbing his face with his hands and then eyeing me there with those eyes that were both cold and yet loving at the same time.

"You want the truth or a lie?" He asked me and signing as well, having me feel a tear come on my cheek then as I huddled my knees to my chest and rested my chin there on top of my knees, thinking of the worst and another round of rejection and disownment. I hated it, I really did, and it made no sense to me as to why. I tried to understand, I really wanted to understand, but it was still too blurry for me.

"Atta, you know why they gave you to me?" He asked me in his low tone of a gruff.

"Because they hated me and they didn't want a cripple," I muttered back to him, seeing a hint of a flicker of anger there on his face as I said that about myself. He then pointed his finger at me, automatically knowing that I was in on a world of hurt.

 _"Never call yourself that, ever! You understand me, child?_ " he signed to me with his hands, then pointing at me again, having me look at him now as the anger was flooding his face. He hated that word like it was its own kind of demon that he didn't want to wake up. I stayed quiet, seeing him lower his finger at me as he then stood next to the junked vessel, resting his arm there and looking at the stars too with the weathered eyes he harbored.

"Your parents were bred to think perfection is the way to go in this world. In my opinion, there's no such thing as being perfect, not at all. Hell, I grew up that place and I got sick of it, which was why I left after your father was old enough to make his own damn decisions. I didn't want to be part of a society that shames people who are different," He explained to me in a softer manner, having me look at watch him in observation. He looked sad when he talked about it, my father and how he left that very place where he came from. It shocked me since we never really talked about and he would avoid it like the plague.

"Broke my heart when your father brought you to me, because I knew then what kind of a parent he turned out to be: the kind I wished he wasn't. He knew I wasn't going to turn you away, and I didn't. You're still my granddaughter, my blood. I don't care if you're as stupid as a rock or if you can't hear out of both years, I ain't gonna let you lose in the world when I know I can good work in you." He recited to me then as he looked at me with a hint of love there. He then reached out for my hand, having em reluctantly take it and hop down from sitting on top of the vessel. Once I touched the ground, he then went down on his knees to be eye level with me, placing his hands on my shoulders to have my full attention.

 _"You are not a cripple,"_ He signed to me in almost a vow, _"You are a strong young woman who will not be moved by what you lack. Make your weakness your strength, don't make it something that will hold you back. I know you are very much your heritage, intelligent and beautiful and kind. Don't ever remember that."_

Since that night, I never doubted myself again.

* * *

 **Space near Planet Kessel**

 **3 Years ago**

"Keep your eyes open! We need to keep them off the planet and not have any of them land!" I heard it within my earpiece as I was moving my own X-Wing over to the outer area of the planet, where another run of TIE fighters were about to go into the planet to fight the humans and Wookies that lived there. The First Order was trying to infiltrate the planet, at least, get more planets under their control that were not willing to come over to their side. It was getting more and more out of hand, but the Resistance was going to help in any way that we could, including fending off the First Order TIW Fighters that were harming other planets that had no real reason to be in the middle of our war.

"I spy two of them on the right," I said into my own communicator now as two TIE fighters were coming over in my direction, having em get the cannon ready with the flick of the wrist on the control pad. I shot at one, the other making a dive making it out of the way now as the other exploded with a busted wing, having me grin and then hearing the other one below me, trying to shoot at me from his spot. I moved to the right, trying to both confuse him as to where I was going and what I was doing. Mostly, I wasn't trying to stay still at that point.

BB-3 starting chirping at me in a mad kind of way, warning me about the one below as I barrel rolled out of the way from a shot that was coming our way. We barely skimmed it, having me hear the unit chip at me again in annoyance.

"I know what I'm doing, just hang on!" I said to the droid now as I saw one of the other pilots, Novak, being tailed by at least three other TIE fighters, making me feel a bit of panic rising up in my chest, "Novak, you have three on your tail."

"I'm trying to fend them off, nothing's working!" Novak said back to me in my helmet as I flew over to where he was, thinking that I would, at least, have to help him. But then right that was below me was right behind me again, getting too close for me comfort and having me think of a plan, execrating my X-Wing towards the two TIE fighters that were right on Novak.

"Atta, what are you doing?" Poe asked me now in worry as I was going faster and faster now, seeing the plan in my head and thinking that it was going to work. I knew it was going to work, didn't I?

"Hang tight, BB-3!" I said to my droid now as I was close enough to make my move, I barrel rolled again to the side. The TIE Fighter behind me crashed into one of the fighters about to hit Novak, the two of them exploding in the air and I whirled around to make it to the side where the last two TIE fighters were, hitting them a few times with the cannon before they knew what was going on. They took exploded, having four of them down and then sighing in relief.

"WOO!"

"That was intense!"

"What to fly that thing!"

I could hear the plenty of pilots that were there cheering for me as I kept flying, almost having my own heart feel warm and soothed at the same time. It was the first time that they have done that to me, praised me in a mission that we went on and sounding genuine about it. This made me smile widely, the sound of appreciation and praise from them all made me fell, for the first time in a long time, that true meaning of acceptance from others. Even after my grandfather told me not to worry about what others thought of me, this still felt pretty good,

Pretty damn good.

* * *

 **Planet D'Qar**

"Great flying." They were all saying that to me when we landed back at the base, walking by me as I was sitting on my wing again and smiling at each of them. We were relieved that we got the First Order away from Kessel, and once we returned, we were going to celebrate that night for the victory that we brought. Novak was the last one to come around with the pilots, walking over to me now as I noticed out of the corner of my eye Poe talking to BB-8 about something, but his eyes were glancing at me every once in awhile.

"Thanks, for saving me back there," Novak said to me with his trademark stunning smile. He was another golden boy of a pilot around there, not as good as Poe, but he knew that. He was still good enough, a little rough around the edges, but I still smiled at him as we shook hands.

"You would have done the same for me, I figured," I replied back, seeing him nod in agreement as we released hands and walked away. At least, I hoped that he and the others would do the same for me as Poe walked over to me then, looking up at me with the twinkle in his eye. He then crawled up the ladder, coming to my eye level as he made his own seat there on the wing and he tilted his head at me in pure curiosity. The only time he would do that is when something was really on his mind.

"How did you learn how to do that anyhow?" Poe asked me in wonder, having me shrug my shoulders

"It was natural," I said to him, signing the word natural without thinking about it. He looked at me in confusion, having me look down at my hands and how they moved on their own accord without me realizing it. It was a habit for me, to sign while I spoke. I've done it since I was little, even with my grandfather because it was practice for me. But now it made me feel a bit embarrassed because I hardly did it in front of the pilots, I stopped my singing in order to get acceptance from them and no longer be seen as a freak.

"What was that?" He asked me, pointing to my hands there in my lap. I grinned, almost sheepishly as he was asking it like it was a genuine question.

"Sign. I learned when I was younger to help me communicate when my hearing was really bad," I explained to him, fiddling with my hands a bit now as he was looking more interested. I placed both of my hands up in front of me, "It's like talking with your hands," I signed and talked at the same time, seeing his face almost light up from what he was seeing in front of him.

"You're really good at it," he complimented me, having me shrug.

"I've done it forever, it's easy for me," I admitted to him, seeing him shift a bit there on the X-Wing.

"Can you teach me?" He asked, almost making me give him a shocked look. He wanted to learn Sign, a language that I felt like barely anyone knew. It felt like hew as trying to get to know me more and more, and this was one way he was trying to do it. I then grabbed his wrist of his dominated hand, and he looked a bit shocked now as I got his fingers in the right spot to fingerspell.

"P," I said aloud, then moving them again to make the circle, "O," and once more, resting his thumb horizontal under the tips of his fingers, "E. There, you just spelled your name." I watched him try and redo what I just did to him, stumbling with the P and I had to fix him. But after a few tries, he got it down and I watched with a small smile on my face as he did it over and over again, excitement was all over his smile and his face.

"Thanks," he said to me in a genuine manner, almost soft like the wind that was picking up that day. It made something shift in my stomach there, a good shift that I never felt before.

"You're welcome," I murmured back to him, the shift was sneaking up to my chest now and over to where my heart was. It was funny, how I never felt this when I was around him before, up until then when we were sitting in front of each other and how I taught him how to sign his name. I didn't know whether it was because I was letting him in, little by little, into the part of my life I wanted to forget and not ring up, or that he was still so kind to me and seeing me past my hearing disability, but I felt as though I was seeing him in a new light, a romantic kind of way.

"Okay, teach me a new one!"

* * *

 **Planet Jakku**

 **Niimo Trading Post**

 **Present Day**

I walked back out into the open sun again, sighing in agitation now from what just happened and feeling like I was getting nowhere close to where I wanted to be. I was on a foreign planet, no real way to get a hold of the Resistance to find a way home, my leg was still injured and at this point it felt like it was on fire, and there was no one there that was going to help me out. I moved my hair from sticking to the back of my neck, thinking that if I was going to get out of there, I would have to find my own way now and think myself. I looked over to see the salvage yard that was behind that main structure, seeing from the vessels that were there and having an idea that she could find some of a way to contact someone through one of the communication consoles.

So I ran, or hobbled if I was going to be specific.

I bolted over, thinking that I had a little time to work with since someone would be seeing me running over and then they would try to fend me off of it. Every step was a huge sting down my leg, but it made me move faster now. I had little time to work, and the time was ticking as I got my hands on the first thing that I saw: a larger vessel that looked like it hasn't been used for years. It was Airspeeder, sitting in the corner there and I got there just in time to hop into the drivers seat, looking at the controls and seeing more of the dust and lack of maintenance on the thing. It was kind of sad really, but I had to find the communications part of the console. There, on the left where the controls were and I tapped it a few times, in hopes that it would work. It didn't, having me sigh and reach into my bag again to grab my tools to tweak it out and ready for use.

"She's in my speeder!" I shot my head up from hearing that same voice from before, seeing a couple of his goons running over to me from far off and I had to finally decided to fix it later, start it up now and get out of there. I turned it on, hearing it him to life as I wrapped my fingers around the controls and got it moving. It was jerky at first, but once I had the movements down after a few seconds I finally was able to mailer my way out of the salvage yard and through the opening, those goons were after me and trying to shoot at me to slow me down. But I was gunning it, thinking I had no other choice as I tried the communicator again. It was still on avail now as I was speeding out of the town.

This was not what I had planned, and I knew I couldn't get far in a vehicle like this, I had no idea what to do or where to head to next. I was still riding along the surface of the sand when my implant was going off again, it was catching something within the communication waves. I tapped it with my finger, thinking that I was just hearing something, and it was just my imagination. But I was right: Something or someone was talking on a communicator of some sort.

 _" **We can't fend them off, not by ourselves!"**_

 _" **We can sure as hell try!"**_

"Poe?" I asked aloud to myself, thinking that I just heard his voice on the communicator now, talking with another person. He was still here, on the planet? What in the hell happened? Was this another trick, that I was overthinking him too much once more now as I was speeding along in the middle of nowhere. But then again it sounded so clear in my head that he was there, and he needed help. I had no other option really, and whoever was in trouble might be able to help me get into a ship and back to the base.

What the hell.

I tapped another button on my implant, hearing the coordinates of where the message came from and I started to press it into the console there in the vehicle, the old one to be precise, and it popped up there. Finally, I had a heading as I moved over in the direction of where it was taking me. Sure, this seemed risky, but I had nothing else to really rely on. Plus it would be wrong for me to ignore the call that was coming in and just try to go on my own. I had no heart for ignoring those in need since I was once one who was in need and I had to be saved. Or last, I thought I had to be.

Time to be the savior.

After flying over there for a few minutes, I saw it in the horizon: a small black mass of a speeder itself and several tiny dots that must have been the beings there that were crying for help. One of them and to be Poe, I knew it in my gut that it was him that I heard in my communicator. I made me go a bit faster, thinking that I was going to see what I thought was true in my head.

When I was close enough, I took out my blaster to have it ready as the time small forms were getting bigger and looking more like beings, and I could now fully tell that there was a scuffle. There were, at least, four of one kind of being, all of the time looking scruffy and in black attire, hitting and trying to rob from my own point of view to others who were trying to defend themselves. Still felt obligated enough to help the two that were trying to fend them off, thinking that it was not right for me to leave and let them take care of it since they looked like they were in trouble on their end.

I shot at one of the men, apparently part of a clan as the others saw me, looking confused with the other others now getting the rest of them themselves. I stopped the speeder now, hoping out with a grunt as I landed on my bummed leg and aiming at the last one standing that was about to strike one of the men I was defending, hitting square in the back. When he fell to the ground, sighing in defeat, I finally saw who it was that I defended.

Poe.

"Atta?" he asked out of the blue, seeing me and having me feel like I was about to cry in relief. He wasn't dead, he was alive and well there on the planet. I thought the worst, that he was with the First Order since I saw him being dragged away and to his death. I thought my heart broke then, that my heart was a hollow shell. But he was there, looking right at me as I dropped the blaster from my hand onto the floor within a second. Tears were in my eyes as he walked over to me briskly, finally reaching me and wrapping his arms around me. I hugged him back, feeling him against me to make sure that this was a reality, not a dream. He cradled my neck with his hand as his other arm was around my waist, breathing me in as I did the same to him.

We were reunited again.

I pulled away from him, seeing his face in front of me and the dry blood there near his lip, upon the top of his head near his hair and the look of fatigue written in his eyes. He stared at me too, seeing the dirt there and my own dry blood near my head and some of the blaster mark on my face. before he could say anything to me, I finally smacked him across the arm, seeing him retreat back a bit and give me a look of shock.

"Don't ever scare me like that again!" I said to him before he could even react to me, "I thought you were dead! I was scared, real scared." I felt like it was spilling over me, just seeing him there and knowing that he was alive. He then held me there again, having me calm down there in his embrace and try to find my own self again. I didn't know why I spilled it all on him at once like it was wave after wave of what I was feeling for the past few hours or so. I had to get it out somehow, and happened to be right there. He pulled away from me again and I saw him giving me a kind look, a sincere one that we would share together and I saw the pain there in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," He signed and said it to me at the same time, "It's okay now, it's alright now. Okay?" He asked me, having me nod in agreement as he pressed our forehead together, breathing it in one more time there in the desert and I did the same. There was nothing else to really fear since we both were going to get out of this place for good and not have to look back.

"Let's get out of here," I said to him in a low murmur, since we were so close to one another and I felt him move his head against my own in agreement.

"We're going home."


	5. Chapter 5

**Planet D'Qar**

 **Two Years Ago**

"Try it this way." I instructed, having another teaching session with Poe, after coming back from another successful mission near the Outer Rim. Since I taught him to spell his name, he's been wanting to learn more about signing, whether I really wanted to or not. But for some reason, he was so silent in the learning process, not wanting to stop until he got through a phrase that I would give him. He loved to learn all of the letters and numbers, even the colors that made me giggle when he was so excited getting it all down. Plus it was more time for the both of us being together, one on one talks when we would talk during meals or go over strategies for the next mission. It was filling our friendship in more ways that one, and I loved those talks that we would have together.

I learned about his parents, both of whom fought for the Resistance and were in the Battle of Endor so many years ago, how he grew up with the love of flying, and even how he had a Force Sensitive Tree on his home planet near his home. I told him a bit more about my life, how I learned how to be a mechanic with my grandfather and all that I had to go though because of my implant. It was nice to get it off my chest, to somehow place it on the table and to have that weight no longer on me.

"There you go," I said to him, seeing him use the phrase All Systems are good to go. Once again, he grinned at me from the successful use of his hands and it was a child getting a good grade in school. I had to giggle from how he looked there and how he was rubbing his hands together in a gleeful manner.

"That wasn't too bad," he said in a happy tone, having me wave him off.

"You say that every time," I advised him.

"Well, it must be true then," He replied with a huff of his shoulders and that signature smile on his face, having me say nothing for a moment or two and let it sink in. Through the plenty of times, either when I was teaching him, or when we would just talk together, that I would the same feeling of a jump in my throat, or my heart fluttering within my chest over and over like the pushing rhythm of the accelerator on my X-Wing. Why was it this way with him and no one else? How is it that I was not wanting to jump out of my vessel and run into a hole to hide since I knew it was true.

I had feelings for him.

"So, now I have a question," he said to me, having me snap back to reality again as I tilted my head at him to see some kind of glimmer there within those eyes of his. He had something cooking inside of him, I could see it. Even with my hearing impairment, I could read body language better than others, and I could see in how he was hunched over a bit looking and leaning over to me. He had something on his mind that he wanted to tell me, it was the intrigue in his

"What would that be?" I asked him, keeping up the routine that he was giving me there as we sat there in the common room within the hanger. There wasn't anyone else there, the rest of the pilots were fast asleep since it was early in the morning and it seemed that either one of us wanted to sleep.

"How do you sign…." He paused, thinking to himself before he went on to the next phrase that would ultimately make me think time froze within that moment, "I like you." There had to be another moment that I was petrified, some other moment when I thought the world was standing so still and my heart would be twisting and warping itself into something new and raw. Why did this happen to me? What in the hell did that mean when he said it in that way? He was still watching me, looking at me with that intrigue and softness there along his cheekbones and smile.

"Uhh...well," I stammered a bit since I was not really not expecting something like this to tell him, out of all the things he wanted to know in sign, he wanted to know this. I got my dominated hand ready, pointing to myself, then slowly signing the word, "Like" and then pointed at Poe. He watched it with wide and open eyes, like the plenty of other times that I would teach him sign. When I was finished, I placed my hands down on my lap again and watched him do it now, seeing his eyes follow his hand as he did it. It looked alright, but as he pointed at me, I saw him freeze it there like he wanted to set it in stone between the both of us.

I was confused.

"You did it," I said to him like was nothing, but he shook his head and I saw the smile there never leaving his lips.

"I wanted to learn how to sign that…because I wanted to sign it to you," he admitted to me almost sheepishly, a rare thing for him to do in such a manner. Did he want to sign that to me? It made me almost lose my own breath as he said that to me with such certainty and kindness. I wondered if I was dreaming, if this was really reality and not something I was thinking of in my head. My own body was thinking of something else since my heart was still wrapping around the fact that he told me he liked me, but I found myself leaning over to him to plant my lips against his. Everything was frozen, my skin was crawling, gravity was falling but standing still at the same time.

I kissed Poe Dameron.

I pulled away with a second after I did that, looking at him with petrified eyes and having a gasp coming out of my throat. I must have been suicidal within my own brain, why would I do that? I felt like I had to explain myself to him, to try and mend what I just did and how I was being stupid.

"I'm sorry," I said in almost a blurted kind of tone. I thought he was going to be angry, let alone confused as to why I did that to him without any kind of lead way. Maybe he was going to walk way and never talk to me again. However, I got the opposite. He smiled at me widely, almost looking brighter from what I did.

"Don't be," He replied, leaning back to kiss me again and take my breath away.

* * *

 **Outer Space, Inner-Rim System**

 **Present Day**

The humming of the vessel that we were on was almost like a rhythm that was going on under my skin, over and over again as we were finally getting back to the base again. After we reunited there in the desert of Jakku, the scavenger that Poe was traveling with gave us a ride to the nearest town that had another vessel that we hitched a ride on. It all happened so fast, within a blink of an eye. Now, we were just sitting there in the cargo bay. Well, I was there in the cage bay, sitting against one of the walls in one of the seats and my nearly wrapped leg. Poe was talking to the captain up at the front to give him the coordinates of where we were going.

"Thank you," he said to the captain as he then turned around to walk back over to me. I was once again having my eyes closed and trying to focus on anything else but my leg and how it was still hurting a bit here and there. My head was throbbing and I was no longer in the heat, but being there for far too long was already making me a bit sleepy as I could hear Poe walking over to me again. I finally cracked an eye open, seeing him look down at me and he was holding a medical bag in his hand, watching me with those warm eyes and gripping the handles of the medical bags like it was his life support.

"How bad is the leg?" He asked me in curiosity as he still stood in front of me, having me shrug my shoulders then.

"It's not as bad as I thought a blaster to the muscle would be," I replied back to him in a smooth reply, seeing him give me an annoyed look and he walked over to where my leg was propped up, placing the bag on the second seat and squatting down to get eye level with the leg. As he was getting started on the medicine there, I looked back at the wound on his head and it made me think some more as to what I wanted to ask him. There was so much on my mind many things that I was wanting to know since we saw each other last.

"What happened to you?" I asked him out of the blue now, keeping my voice soft and sincere as he was getting the medicine ready within his hands from the bag. I watched him stop for a moment, thinking to himself since he would make a face when he would think about something intently. His face almost wrinkled up like it was uncomfortable to think about it as he then unwrapped the wrap that was already around my leg.

"They took me up to one of their ships," He explained calmly now, unwinding the wrap until my wound was out in the open, his eyes going a bit big now from what he was seeing. Was he shocked from how it looked? He seemed a bit out of it, seeing the wound there on my leg and how the blood was still there. But Poe shook it off, trying to not show it there on his face, at least, to me.

"The man who interrogated me, he was a Jedi," he explained to me now as he got some liquid on a clean gauze to dab the blood off around the wound. I gave him a concerned look, not being able to wrap my own head around the fact that he just mentioned the back figure…the very one who killed our ally was a Jedi.

"How do you know?" I asked him in wonder, squinting a bit from the medicine hitting near the wound. I tried to keep my leg still there. The look on Poe's face was almost grave, very grave as I said it to him.

"He used…..he used the Force on me," he said in a low tone, having me only recall all of those stories that I've heard in the past. My grandfather with the bedtime stories, the pilots talking to each other over the morning or evening meals, the tales of the Jedi were both mystical and mysterious. They were keepers of the peace, and yet some of them chose the wrong side of the Force and were far deadlier than anything. The Dark Side was very deadly, cruel, and powerful. This Jedi that took Poe was he was very one that part of the Dark Side.

"He saw things in my head, things I never thought I would see again…I tried to keep him out of my head," He said to me almost hesitantly, almost like he was rethinking back to that moment all over again within his head and I could see it in his eyes and how he was working on my leg, "He found out where BB-8 was, he wanted to find him…and I let him."

"Poe," I said to him, leaning over a bit now to get closer to him as he was looking a bit shaken from what he told me happened. I grabbed his arm, stopping him from keeping his method of cleaning up on my leg. He finally looked over at me, and I finally saw in hi eyes the mere fear that he went through. It was in his head again, and it was chilling him down to the bone.

"It's okay," I reminded him, trying to bring him back from those haunting thoughts that I could see were plaguing him, "You're okay now. You're not back there with him, and you won't be back there anymore," I was hoping that he knew what I was telling him, to not resort to that fear again that almost left him crippled and broken all over. He stayed quiet, biting his lower lip with more thoughts in his head as he looked back at my wound now.

"I don't know where BB-8 is, and whatever Lor San Tekka gave us, and me to BB-8, the First Order wants it bad," Poe explained to me as he went on with more dabbing on my leg. I could tell this was also killing him: not knowing where his droid was. They've been closer together than any both replete with his or her droid at the base. They both were inseparable, and there was no other droid that would fit Poe best then that little BB Unit.

"We'll find him. You know how that BB Unit of yours is, the droid can handle himself," I said to him in reassurance but he shook his head.

"BB-8 is the reason why I ended up back at Jakku, Atta. I escaped from the ship to get to him and find him," He explained some more, getting more blood off and moving the gaze to a new part, closer to the wound.

"How did you do it?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," He answered, having me raise an eyebrow at him.

"Try me," I said back to him now, seeing him then have some kind of amused look on his face.

"A stormtrooper," I was shocked, hearing that seemed more like a taboo and out of the ordinary. Did I hear what he said to me right?

"You're kidding."

"I wish I was. He got me out in a TIE fighter, his name was some kind of serial code or something like that. But Atta, he saved me, he got me out of there." He explained to me in more of a lighter manner now, almost like this memory was not in vein but a good one to think about.

"He brought you to Jakku?" I asked him, reigning him out from his lost thoughts about the stormtrooper that apparently saved his life.

"I brought us to Jakku, but we crashed and before I knew it, I was alone out in the middle of nowhere with no TIE fighter and no Finn—"

"Finn?"

"That's the name I gave him, well what I wanted to call him since the stupid serial number that he had as his name I wasn't going to use at all," He explained to me, having me smile from how simple it sounded on his lips and how light compared to the previous conversation that we had together. I almost wanted to chuckle there from what we were literally talking about, but then it was thrown off when some of the medicine got into my wound and I hissed out in pain.

My leg jolted a bit now, and I felt Poe press his hand onto my leg to both keep it there and to calm me, at least, I thought he was trying to calm me. It wasn't hurt into a press, not hurting me to keep me there, but it was more of a soothing kind of hold there on my skin. I wanted to bite back the pain that was seeping in, and Poe immediately placed the clean gauze over the wound to stop it.

"I'm sorry," he said in a regretful manner, the feeling of guilt there on his face from hurting me, at least in his mind he thought he was hurting me. I shook my head, trying to shake it off and not say anything bad about it.

"I've had worse, this is nothing," I reminded him, though now I was seeing him look over at me now in skepticism there on his face from how I was trying to play off the pain.

"Don't do that," he said to me in almost a warning.

"Do what?" I asked him as he pressed the gauze in a bit more and then grabbed the clean wrapping that was in the bag, his eyes looking more like a stern leader than my friend at the moment.

"Try to be strong like you always do," He answered me, "You always play off the pain like it's nothing for you to really think about and consider."

"I've always tried to play off the pain, Poe," I reminded him, not wanting to have this kind of talk with him since we reunited and we both were in one piece. We had other things to worry about, finding BB-8 and making sure that whatever he had been not taken by the First Order. We shouldn't be talking about my past and what I would do in order to be where I was today.

"Yeah, well I really don't like it at all, it isn't you and I know it isn't." He reminded me, sounding stern again but taking a deep breath about it and having me not move as well. I hated when we would fight like this, when I would call him out for being a bit too cocky or when he would call me out when I was too reckless or strong for my own good. We both knew the flaws of one another, and there were points when we brought it to the table when things were bad. I hated it, but then again it made us stronger in our relationship. We held each other accountable. It made me sigh, seeing him still avert his eyes away from me now as he spoke up again.

"I didn't know where you were," He admitted to me softly, too soft for me to like as he watched my wounded leg that he dressed and looked better, "When they took me off the planet, I looked back to see where you were, but you were gone. I thought….for a second, I thought they took you too."

"I hid like you told me to," I reminded him, seeing him shake his head.

"It's not…it's not the same. The Jedi that interrogated me…he found out about you being on Jakku and he threatened to come back for you if I didn't tell him about BB-8." it was like he dropped a bomb on us, the silence was almost deafening as I watching him with worried eyes, seeing the pain there agin and how it was hard for him to bring it up between the both of us. I reached over to grab his hand, our fingers laced together on top of my wounded leg now as he went on, "He was going to kill you, and he threatened to make it nasty if I didn't say anything…"

"Stop."

"I didn't want him to go anywhere near you, to try and—" I pulled him up by his hand, to have him eye level with me and to stop him from bringing back the pain I knew he was feeling, I touched his cheek with my other hand, keeping our joined hands close as he was watching me with those damaged eyes and I gave him a stern look.

"Do not blame yourself, Poe Dameron," I said to him, knowing that he was doing that and trying not to show it to me. I knew how Poe worked, he took failure not as healthy as some others do. He would blame himself for days if a mission did not go as planned, or if he had a fight with someone he would feel terrible. But this, all that happened to him, it was not fair for him to keep thinking that he was the one to blame.

"We will find BB-8, and we will be successful in it, okay?" I asked him now, softly again since there was no more heart for me to snap him out of his funk. He had to be the Poe Dameron that I knew, brave and not willing to back down from a challenge. I then pressed my lips to his, trying to keep it there and make him understand that I was going to stay next to him and bring him back to his normal self again. It didn't matter that we were battered, tired beyond words, or that we escaped death barely. We had to be back to where we started when we met: pilots. He kissed his back, softer now as I felt him lean against my hand again. Once he kissed me back, I saw something flash into my mind and I squinted almost in pain.

The map again.

 _It was once again clear in my brain, how I saw the small constellations and where they were placed inside my head. It was like before, how there was a trial leading to some mark location but it was also fuzzy since I had no idea where it was going, or what the planet was called. It was making me uncomfortable, almost driving me insane now since I had no idea why I was seeing this. It made me pull myself away for Poe now in a hiss, slamming my head against the wall behind me and pushing my spare hand over my eyes in some kind of agitation._

"Atta?" Poe asked in concern now having me hear voices in my head now as the map was moving around within my vision. I didn't know these voices, of what they meant, but they were clear as well as the map now.

 _"The map….where is it?"_

My eyes shot open in shock now as took a breath sharply through my mouth now, like I was going through some kind of trauma. Poe was clutching my hand in a death grip now as I was hearing that voice in my head. I knew that voice now, back when Poe and I got separated. The same voice from the Jedi that took him, I heard it in my head. For some reason, the map, and the voice were linked together, and it was shocking me all over now as Poe was getting my attention again.

"What happened?" He asked me now, "What's wrong?"

"I saw a map," I said to him in a hushed tone, "I keep seeing this…this map in my head and it's pointing towards something," I finally gave him grave look now, seeing him look at me now with worried eyes as I took in another breath.

"I think that the Jedi that interrogated you was looking for a map…and I saw it in my head."


	6. Chapter 6

**Planet D'Qar**

Poe and I squinted a bit when the bay doors opened from the vessel, seeing the base hanger there again and all of the faces of the pilots that we knew looking at us in sighs of relief. Breathing in the smell of the base there amongst the trees, the familiar X-Wings that were parked on both the left and the right, and the feeling of peace there between us.

We were home.

"You two are really off your rockers!" With seconds, we were swarmed by the pilots that we knew and befriended in the past, Including Novak who walked over to give me a big hug. I hugged him back, hearing him sigh in relief now as we were connecting again. Since we became friends, he would also look out of me when no one else was going to, and then again he was also one who was sticking by me when others would question me. When Novak pulled away, he looked up and down at my image there and smirked, having me see something was coming that he was going to comment on.

"You look like shit," He said to me in an amused tone, having me glare at him and hear him chuckle now from how I eyed him and tried not to laugh myself since I was way too tired. He could even see it on my face.

"What happened to you?" He asked me, and I was about to answer when I saw my eyes adverting over to Poe. He was talking to some of the other pilots that we hugging him and looking at him too, reuniting with his buddies and looking relieved to be back. I didn't know where to start with Novak, what to tell and what not to tell him. Would he think that I was crazy, maybe beyond crazy because of all that I went through? How was I going to tell him and not look like a psycho? I finally looked over at him, almost giving him a weary look.

"Where do you want me to start?"

He grinned at me, about to answer when we saw some of the pilots behind him move out of the way for someone coming our way. I moved from Novak, seeing Poe walk over to me as we saw who it was that was coming our way.

Major Ematt.

"Well there's the solving lining," Novak said under his breath behind me, Poe looking over at me in concern now for a moment or two before we looked back at the Major. I knew he was a stern kind of Major, not really liking things to be loose around the ends or not precise. So, I could have thought we both were going to be in trouble.

"Dameron and Teckno, you two alright?" He asked the both of us, not concerned at all but still enough to have him be feared by the rest of the pilots on the base. I have Poe a hesitant look, not knowing how to answer that and then looking back at Major Ematt again with a usual breath in through my nose.

"Yes, sir," I replied back to him in a careful manner now, then watching him give a huff there and then place his hands behind his back now, once again.

"General Organa wishes to speak to the both of you," He said to us, and before I could even think him, let alone salute him, he walked away and back over to the main hanger now. I bit my lower lip. thinking that we were going to be in a messing situation now. Who knows what she wanted to talk to us about, and it got me kind of scared.

"You're in for a lot of hurt now," Novak said to me now as he clasped me on the shoulder then and walked away from me, as well as the others. They all knew we were going to see the main boss of the Resistance, so they wanted to run out as fast as they could. I wouldn't blame him, and I think I would have done the same thing if another pilot was in my shoes and they were going to be punished. At least, it felt like I was being punished.

"Come on," Poe urged with me gently, reaching down to take my hand within his own. I took in my own deep breath then, feeling a bit better that I wasn't the only one that she wanted to talk to. It was still confusing me on what she wanted to speak to the both of us about, but since we went through enough for last us for a lifetime, I decided that we should just get it over with.

Time to meet with the General.

* * *

General Organa was her kind of history.

She's been the battles in the past, lived through them all and helped with the collapse of the Galactic Empire. She's seen it all, and now she was a legend in her own right. Everyone wanted to work under her since she knew that we had to keep the balance of the galaxy in one piece and not take it over to the Dark Side. So there we were, standing in front of her in her office and seeing her watch the both of us with her arms crossed in front of her and her eyes going from Poe and then to me, for about a moment or so before she spoke up now.

"I'm glad to see that my top pilots in the Resistance came back to us in once piece," She said to the both of us, having me keep my eyes forward on her but I was so tempted to look and see how Poe was doing on my left, "I will admit, I was a bit concerned to hear about the village raid, not to mention the death of our old ally. I want to know hear from the both of you what precisely happened." Great, I would have to explain to her too on what was going on and what happened to me. No one dared to lie to the General, not if they want to keep their job at the Resistance. Was it going to me that spoke first? I felt like I should, but then Poe beat me to it.

"I was taken by the First Order to one of their vessels off the planet, and they interrogated me to find BB-8…he had the information that you needed, General." Poe explained calmly, and I could hear it in his voice that he was afraid now that he was going to be punished for it.

"How did they interrogate you?" Organa asked him now as I bit the inside of my cheek, not wanting him to say it since I knew it was still fresh within his own mind on what happened and how it happened.

"There was a Jedi with them, General. He used the Force to get the information about my BB Unit out of me." He said it simply, but when I looked over at General Organa, I could see that something shifted and something was set off in her. She tried to hide it, staying still and composed in front of the both of us now, but I could see that she took in a shaky breath, her stance slouched a bit and her fingers were tapping on her arms that were crossed in front of her. What Poe said struck something within her, she knew something. Organ then looked at me now, having me feel my inside freezing up within moments as I knew it was my turn for the questioning.

"You weren't taken with him?" She asked me, her slouch and her nervousness moment before were long gone now as she looked at me like she was back to her normal self again.

"No, ma'am. I hid out of sight, following Commander Dameron's orders. I was about to go to my own X-Wing when a Stormtrooper shot me in the leg and stopped me from following out the rest of his command," I explained to her, myself trying to stay calm about it. I could see out of the corner of my eye Poe's hand at his side, tapping against his leg and how he was really wanting to reach over to hold my own hand in hopes of calming me down. He really wanted to, and a part of me wanted to d the same.

"But he didn't kill you?" she asked me in surprise now, having me shake my head.

"He spared me, knocking me out and leaving me there." I answered her now, seeing her raise an eyebrow at me in interest and I held my breath there, thinking that she was going to call me out for lying to her or making up some kind of story. I didn't want to make up a story, not really. She then eyes Poe again, almost like she was trying to rethink it in her head over and over again now. A part of me wanted to tell her more, to tell her about the images of a map in my head, how what she was looking for was indeed a map. I felt obligated to tell her that since it was what she's wanted for a long time. But nothing came out, my fear got the best of me.

"Teckno I wanted you head to the medical bay and get your leg properly looked at and have it be taken care of, I wished to talk to Commander Dameron for a few more minutes before I send him to the medical bay for his own mending," I nodded my head a there when she told me this, not wanting to argue with her or tell her much more since it already felt stuffy in there. I turned on my heel, looking at Poe one more time before he nodded his own head at me and gave me a small smile. I smiled back, ultimately wishing that whatever she had to tell Poe was going to less threatening and not too bad at all. I did what I had to do, what I came to do and all I could do now was leave it to General Organa, leave it in her hands and see what she was going to do with it after all.

I had to wait.

* * *

"It's a clean cut through, nothing looks infected," My leg was propped up on the medical table and one of the medics there at the base was looking at my injured leg. I've been sitting there for about a few minutes by myself before she came along and started to get my wound nice and ready, and I was still thinking about Poe and how he was still talking to General Organa. What were they talking about? Was he going to be in more trouble than what he was worth? I only hoped and wished that I stayed there and was some kind of support for him. He would do the same for me if I was there talking to General Organa, wouldn't he?

"I suggest you keep it wrapped, change the wrappings every morning after you wake up. I'll give you some pills and medicine to take most of the pain off, we'll start with this shot," She explained to me as she got the shot ready to go in the room and I was leaning against the wall once more, another wave of fatigue was washing over me again from just sitting there in the examination room of the medical bay.

"You also need to drink up on your fluids, since I can tell you had plenty of heat fatigue out there. If you were out there for another day or so, you could have had a severe case of dehydration. Your body needs to rest," She explained to me one more a she had the shot device ready for me, walking over and having me crack one eye open to her now.

"I don't think being able to rest is part of my job description," I reminded her, seeing her chuckle and roll her eyes at me.

"Don't try to get out of a shot, since you're tougher than most of the other pilots here at the base. Some of them cry," She joked with me, having em chuckle slightly. She placed the device on my skin on my arm, having me feel the sting of the shot there and it was done before I knew it. Once it was over, she took the device away now and got her gloves off one by one.

"So, my doctor's order is now consisting of me…sleeping?" I asked her now in a light manner, almost like it was a joke and I could hear her chuckle.

"Sleep wouldn't hurt really," She advised me as she finally stood in front of me and placed her hands on her hips now. "Sleep and rest. I'll make sure General Organa knows not to let you anywhere near your X-Wing until I give you the green light, understand?"

"Yes, Ma'am," I said back to her, knowing now to argue a whole lot when it came to the medics and what they wanted me to do or not to do. I didn't like not having to work, but then again it was better for me to rest any who. She walked out of the room, right as my own droid rolled in and started beeping at me frantically. BB-3 was angry with me, and I rolled my eyes at the droid now.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Look at me!" I said to the droid in hopes that he would back off. But the chips were still coming along with the whirls, "Oh don't start with that lecture. I know I shouldn't have left you behind, and I won't do it next time."

BB-3 hissed at me with anger there.

Stop. I signed to him now, seeing him stop himself from lecturing me anymore and he rolled over to me where I was on the bed, my legs were dangling off now as he tapped his head against my left calf there. He eyed my leg there, sadder chirps were heard from him now as I sighed. He was still protective of me, and seeing me hurt made him sad too since we both were close together.

"I promise, I'm fine. I'll be okay," I said to him now, almost feeling him snuggle into me a bit from trying to make me feel better. I leaned down to press my hand onto the top of his head and he snuggled into it before I got back up again. He looked at me now, beeping at me a few more times before I shrugged my shoulders.

"He's still talking to General Organa at the moment, I don't know how long it will be," I answered, watching him whirl his head around at the door before back at me. He was looking for Poe as I patted him one more time.

"Don't worry, he'll be back," I reassured him once more, then hearing some more footsteps coming over my way, both BB-3 and I were looking over now to see who it was. Poe, right on cue now as BB-3 chirped in excitement, "See, I told you." BB-3 chirped at him in a rushed manner.

"I didn't do that to her, I swear!" He said to the droid in retaliation as I sighed and snapped my fingers at the droid to get his attention once more and stop him from yelling at Poe anymore.

"Hey," I said to BB-3, watching the head whirl around at me again, "Leave him be and go back to your station," I instructed, seeing him chirp at me once more before he moved out of the room finally. I leaned my head back, feeling a headache forming from just reuniting with my droid who was paranoid about my safety and where I was. I closed my eyes, squinted a bit now as I heard Poe walking over to me with casual steps.

"That is a first, being chewed out by a droid," he commented in a light manner, having me open my one eye at him and see him have a smirk there on his lips. I chuckled, feeling the heavens of my energy in that chuckle as Poe was looking at my leg again.

"What did the medic say?" He asked me now, walking over to the leg some more and pointed with his finger.

"I have to rest, which was not what I wanted to hear," I replied to him now, seeing him give me a timid look now since he knew what it felt like for me to rest. It was like asking a droid to not go back to their primary function of a Wookie to not want to look for an argument: slim to none.

"Must be the end of the world for you," he joked with me as he walked over to me to stand there in front of me, having me without really thinking about it reach out to hold both of his hands within my own. it was like the old times that we would have there at the Resistance, the both of us together in a room without anyone looking at us and wondering if we were together. We never told anyone about us, since we both knew it would get is in more trouble than what it was worth. Poe and I were doing good so far, but of course, I would alway fear that our luck would run out.

"What did General Organa want to talk about?" I asked Poe, seeing him think to himself for a moment or two before he finally answered.

"She wanted to know what happened to me and how I found you back on Jakku, about BB-8 and what we were supposed to bring back to her," He explained, his voice was a bit off when he talked about it, "I could tell she was a bit on the disappointed side that we didn't bring back what she wanted."

"Nothing makes her really happy in the first place," I reasoned with a small smile there, seeing him have a flicker of happiness there from my comment as I sat up a bit in my spot there on the medical table, fully facing him and see the exhaustion there on his face. He went through enough for one person, and I saw him then melt into me, the both of us holding each other for a moment or so in that room. I could tell he was just trying to come back from all that he went through, and I was going to let him do exactly that.

"We made it out in one piece," I voiced to him, feeling him rub my skin with his thumb as I said this before pressing my lips into his skin about his eye, "And I know we will find BB-8 before we know it." The twinge of pain there when I mentioned his BB Unit was evident as he was thinking about it to himself. We had to bring back the hope that once was there, that BB-8 would be back with us and we can fulfill the mission that General Organa wanted us to do in the first place.

But first, we had to get back to square one.

* * *

I stayed up most of that night, thinking back to the map that I saw in my head and how I was seeing flashes of it. It was still bothering me, and though I didn't say anything about it to either Poe or General Organa, I felt conflicted on doing just that. Would they both think that I went through some kind of trauma and this was the after effect? I would think that, and the last thing that I wanted was all eyes on me. It would be never wracking, but that night it was eating away at me again,

I remembered sitting in my bed, my feet tucked underneath me as I was drawing in my sketch book that I would keep there at the base. I would sketch new models or new designs for my mechanical line of work, the pages filled with schematics and images of what I had in mind or what was plaguing my mind to be more specific. But this time, I was drawing the map that I saw in my mind. I drew out where the planets were located, what kind of line it was shaping as the location, but there was still no clue as to what it meant.

Or why I was seeing it in general.

Frustrated, I sighed and placed my sketch down, looking over at my nightstand where my light and the smaller trinkets that I picked up in the past where. There, at the edge of the bed, was my cochlear implant. I wouldn't sketch with it on, it was a breather for me to take it off and rest it for awhile. But this time, I looked at the small device with a small twinge of concern and horror there. I've worked on the device for a long time, evolving it to be more than an implant. It was a communication transmitter and receiver, I can get signals from other devices that were within a certain range. It was also a computer, able for me to downland certain numbers or maps so I can have them read to me or memorized. For those reasons the other pilots were thinking of me more like I was part droid myself, all from a small piece of technology that was foremost there to help me hear better. It was part of me, embedded within me.

It was all clicking in my head, some of it was making sense and some of it wasn't. I started to realize, that these images of the map started when I woke up that morning on Jakku, without my implant in me. It was removed, and I don't remember taking it off the night before. I still had it on when I was shot in the leg and that stormtrooper knocked me out.

Someone took it out, and someone placed the map there within my cochlear implant.


	7. Chapter 7

"I thought you were supposed to be resting," I grinned at Novak now as I was limping a bit over to him and the others near the X-Wings out on the hanger, all of them were talking together and having a few moments of free time before they were going to go into their training. It's been a few days since I was told to rest, and it was a few days too any for me. I hated not being able to go and repair vessels, or to go flying out with the others when there was another call of distress out there in the galaxy. It was going to make me a bit uneasy and on the edge, and I decided to have enough of it. Poe would be angry with me, let alone General Organa, but then again I was not going to be more on the defensive side than anything. I was no damsel in distress, I was a goddamn pilot.

I wasn't going to sit anymore.

"And I thought you were supposed to be flying," I joked back with him, every limp was making me almost squint a bit since the wound was still small enough for me to try and leave some of my weight off. I finally made it over to them, Novak grinning at me from his spot and shrugged his shoulders there.

"We have nothing there on the communication yet," He explained to me, raising an eyebrow at me, "Does our commander know that you're up and about?"

"Am I going to suggest that you're going to tell him?" I asked him back, seeing him think about it for a moment or so. I knew how Novak was a thinking when it came to something like this: moving away from the norm and be more on the playful side of things. He knew how to play against the rules ever once in awhile. Novak grinned, such a handsome grin there as he rolled his eyes.

"My lips are sealed," He replied, having me shift a bit there as I looked around for a moment or two at the scene in front of me. No one was moving around in a frantic state, all of the X-Wings were parked and not being touched. It felt too eerie for me, almost making me feel a chill up and down my spine. I wondered why this was, why we weren't going to do something or just move around for the sake of doing something.

"Have we heard nothing from the First Order?" I asked him, also to the others who were sitting there. They were all looking a bit uneasy about talking about the First Order, even mentioning it since they were our real enemy.

"They've been laying low, none of our signals and communication has picked anything up," Dale, another pilot that was there, answering to me now. I bit my lower lip, not seeing the silver lining behind it. It was never good for the First Order to be laying down low since it meant that they were going to be cooking up something that could really bring more damage than we could imagine. Something big could be coming, and It was almost making me feel it in my gut now.

"I would steer clear from Organa today," Novak advised me, not longer seeming rather light about it but he was more not his serious side. It made me eye him again, seeing the look on his face and how it sound really like a warning than anything.

"Why is that?" I asked him in a low manner now, not wanting to make it sounds offensive.

"She's a bit on the edge these days, and I think today is one of those days where she can bring more pain than anything," Novak replied, having me drink that in for a moment or two. The other pilots were drinking it in as well, looking a bit grave about it. General Organa was our leader, someone we can really look to and find our strength and our will to succeed. It was within the moments when she was less of a General and more of a human, that ew knew we were in a whole wind of trouble. It wasn't that she was a terrible leader when she wasn't herself, but I could tell she would get lost in a moment of her own thoughts and demons if she had demons.

"Duly noted,"

* * *

I finally walked back over to the hanger again, over to the sleeping quarters since I figured I would have to high tailed it back there and not get caught by someone. I wasn't scared of being caught, I just didn't want to hear that I wasn't following orders. Plus I wanted to clear my head from the thoughts of the map that were flooding my mind ever since I drew the map on the sketch paper. it was nauseating at this point, and I wanted to do something else, anything else.

Of course, when I turned the corner to go down the hallway that would lead me to my room, I would see none other than Poe Dameron there, waiting for me outside my door and having a sour look on his face. Once we locked eyes, I sighed and stopped walking for a moment, knowing what was about to come. We did have fights, but they were over simple things that we both never really had to fight about it in the first place. There he was, standing outside my room and crossing his arms in front of him. It was the typical stance that he would take when he was about to argue with me about something that was on his mind.

Now, it was about my own safety and the promise I broke.

"Hello, Poe," I said to him in a softer tone, wanting to start this off with a nice note there, but he was still giving me that stern look that I could see he was not used to using on anyone, but only me.

"I came to check in on you, and you weren't in your room," he said to me calmly, at least, he was trying to be calm about it. I walked over to stand in front of him, not wanting to raise my voice at him now as I placed my hands on his arms in an effort to calm him in any way.

"I just went for a walk," I replied, opening the door and moving in before he could get another word onto me. I was not going to have this kind of fight with him in front of the others that were walking to and fro from the hallway. Poe watched me from the hallway at first, almost like he was thinking about whether or not he was going to come into the room. I stood there within my own room, waiting for him to come in and talk to me to see what was going on in his own mind. Reluctantly, he walked in and closed the door behind him, having me finally feel like I was able to let out all that I was feeling about being held there for two days like I was some kind of hostage.

"Two days of bed rest is going to kill me from the inside out," I explained to Poe plainly, hearing him sigh now as I went on with my rant, "I don't want to sit and apparently rest when I know I can still work on my X-Wing, let alone help out in any way that I can."

"And I don't want you to lose your leg since it's still healing, Atta," He said back to me near the door.

"I won't lose my leg, and if I did, I would become more of a cyborg than I already am," I said back to him, not wanting to make it sound like a bite but more of fact. Poe eyed him with the death stare, having me rub my face with my hands there and not want to yell at him for trying to protect me and hold me back.

"Poe," I said to him in a calmer tone, not feeling the anger there anymore but the energy that was lost from this talk with him, "I can't do this. I can't sit here in this room and just wait. I've waited long enough to be here at the Resistance and to fly, and there's no way I'll wait a bit more." Waiting was never great with me, not having any kind of strength to move around when I wanted to. Standing still, looking at things going on around me, that was not really making me happy. This was a prime example when I knew I could help out and fly around even with an injured leg. To me, this injury was nothing, but I guess to everyone else, it was the worst thing that could happen to me.

"You know it's not just the leg, Atta." Poe finally said to me, moving towards me a bit more in the room and his eyes going back to being soothing and warm again like they used to look, "You went through enough as it is, we both have. So it's no surprise that they want you to take it easy for a few more days to be back to your normal self again."

"But not you, apparently," I added with a small smile on my face, seeing him think about it to himself before he cocked his grin at me again. It was simple again with the both of us, not a fight that I thought was going to erupt. He walked over a bit more, having me see he was about to hug me as I went on with my rant with him, "Because you are the golden boy around here, and your smile can make every single pilot here be swooned off their feet."

"Will you stop," He said back to me with a snort as he hugged me to silence me there, having me chuckle into his chest now as I snuggled into him and we both stood there in the middle of the room, "I don't want to look at anyone else here at this base than you and your smile at me."

"Such the romantic." I voiced to him as I placed my arms around him.

"Oh really? I thought you were more romantic than me," He sarcastically remarked, having em glare at him and he grinned back down at me,

"You and your mouth, it's far too pretty for my liking," I voiced.

"And your spirit is a bit too reckless for my liking, but I'm still here ain't I?" He asked me, having me nod my head in agreement. We would never have a huge enough fight that would lead to disagreement with one another, and for some reason, it seems dilemma we would make up more than we would fight. Such a typical couple thing to do apparently, since this was the first and only real relationship I've ever been in. Of course, it had to be the someone like Poe, and it was still shocking for me to be there with him.

"I'm glad we are on the same page," I said to him in a lighter tone now, feeling the tension that was once there behind my skin and within my head slowly mauve out to be peaceful and warm again.

"I'm glad too, Atta."

* * *

I still moved around, very little by little now since I promised Poe that I would take it easy. He finally gave in to have me go help Novak with his own plane, BB-3 right behind me and making sure that I was going to be okay. Sometimes I wondered of the droid had the previous life of a parent, because they way the little droid would last me around me would make me wonder if he was going to spoon feed me by the end of the day. Still, this was better than me sitting in my bed and acting like a wounded animal.

It was later in the afternoon when I was helping Novak when something did happen, something I didn't expect. Novak was perched over me on his wing, watching me with his hands on his knees as he squatted and watched me work another part on the inside mechanical works of the X-Wing.

"Look here, the wires are getting thin," I pointed my finger there in the area that I wanted him to see, "We need to switch it out before you fly out again or sell your blasters won't respond to your cockpit."

"This is why I liked working with you, you can find things better than I can." Novak voiced to me as I rolled my eyes at him.

"Let's be honest, Novak. You wouldn't be able to find the converters in your own X-Wing with your glasses on, not with me," I joked, seeing him stick his tongue out at me as I grabbed my backpack to have it in one hand and fish though the tools I had in there, "Don't worry though. We can get this fixed in a jiffy.. 10 minutes tops."

"Novak then tapped me on the hand to stop me, having me look up at him and see that he was looking at something off in the distance now, over near the hanger.

"What?" I asked him, not getting what was going on. He said nothing for a moment, looking more quizzed about what I was seeing.

 _Head's up. Snap is walking this way over at you._ He signed to me, having me now look over my shoulder now and see Captain Temmin Wesley himself walk over to me. He was the captain of the Blue Squadron, where I served for a year or so. He was a good enough flier himself, better at recon than others as he walked over to me with a determined look in his eyes.

"Teckno, General Organa wants to talk to you about a personal mission she wants you on," He explained, having me hesitantly look at Novak again now to see if I should go over there. I didn't know what was going to happen now with me. I was still healing and trying to keep my head down when it came to getting attention, but now General Organa wanted to see me about a mission? Where was the logic in that? But to say no to General Organ was like asking for her to just banish me from the Resistance, something that would end me.

"I would go unless you want her to yell at you," Novak said to me under his breath, making me grab my tools that were out and shove them back in my pack again.

"I'll be back to finish your X-Wing after I have my talk with the General. Just, don't electrocute yourself." I advised him as he dryly chuckled at me.

"Don't count on it," He said back at me as I turned and finally started to follow Snap, walking over to the hanger again. I was still feeling uneasy about seeing the General alone since I never had to do it. I looked over at Snap now with a bit of grimace there, wondering what he knew about it.

"Am I in trouble, Snap?" I asked him finally, seeing her look at me for a flicker of a second before looking forward again, the Captain look back on his face.

"Not yet, not with her at least," He said back.

"At least?" I asked, seeing him smirk at me and then looking at me to see what he was thinking.

"I'm still wondering what happened to your X-Wing." I had to smile from that.

He _would_ have to complain about my lack of an X-Wing.

* * *

"I got a recent call from Maz Kanata," General Organa explained to me as we were meeting out in the warm room and having me stand at attention in front of her and seeing the planet that General Organa placed up on the screen, "Here on the planet of Takodana. She wants to have a talk with one of our pilots, to go over the peace treaty that we have with them. Because of the recent attacks that the First Order, Maz is more concerned about her facility and it's safety."

"We've been peaceful with them for a long time," I agreed with her as she looked from the map over to me.

"Since you're still recovering, and I don't want to place you on another patrol with the other pilots, I feel like you can handle this on your now," General Organa explained to me as she pointed to the map, "I want you to fly out there and make sure our peace treaty is still underway with Maz Kanata. I'll send you with the agreement for her to look after and you can also report back to me on anything there that could be a red flag. Her castle is neutral territory, and the last thing that we need is a confrontation because of the Resistance being there. Go in your civilian clothes, it should be safer for you."

"Of course, General," I said to her now, seeing her shift her eyes a bit with me. Once again, I could tell she as trying to read my face see what I was feeling by just looking at me with her eyes. I knew that look, and I've seen it plenty of times with my grandfather and the other pilots there at the base. They were trying to figure it out in my head, to serif I was really ready for something like this. They were underestimating me, the General not so much but I could witness it.

"Commander Dameron suggested you for this mission, and I was going to send him out himself," She said that to me in a more sincere tone, having me look at her in a confused look now as she walked over to stand in front of me then, almost giving me a motherly kind of look that I thought I would never see at all. It was almost like she would give that look to the other pilots, not the stern hard look that she would shell out every once in awhile. I knew she had a softer interior, and I was seeing right now in front of me.

"I think you can do this on your own, Atta," She trusted me, which made me want to prove it to her even more. So I just smiled at her and then looked at the planet again there on the screen and taking in a deep breath. She was throwing me back into the routine again, and I was no longer going to act like a wounded animal.

I was back in the game.


	8. Chapter 8

**Planet Takodana**

The doors opened, having me walk inside with BB-3 right on my heel as I looked around to see what laid inside. I've never been on this planet before, nor have I seen something like this before in front of me. It was almost a bit too much to drink in, all of the lifeforms talking and interacting with one another like there was nothing else to see in the world. The lights were dimmed down, smells of both B.O. and drinks were filling my senses and having me rethink again on who I had to look for.

Maz Kanata

BB-3 chirped at me in a worried manner, having me look down at the Unit now as the droid was watching me.

"Go back to the X-Wing, 3," I said to him low in a calm tone, watching the droid shake his had now in retaliation. "No, I'm just going to talk to Maz, just like what General Organa wants,"

"You came on behalf of General Organa?" I looked away from the droid, seeing a smaller life form, almost half my size, look up at me with a look that well placed to be thousands of years. She had a curious look in her eye, very curious, but it was also ancient and soothing at the same time. I felt as though I was looking at a familiar face, someone that I've seen before in the past, yet this was the first time I've ever seen her.

"You're Maz Kanata?" I asked her, seeing him eye me up and down with her big glasses that were both attached to her head and almost looking like they were a part of her. She grinned at me finally, the smile there shown her age there and how delicate she was there.

"And you're with the Resistance," She replied back to me in an old, but youthful kind of manner, "I never met a young Resistance fighter like you before, let alone a pretty one. Did they send you alone?"

"They trust me," I answered, watching her drink me in once more before she motioned with her head to follow her.

"Come, we can speak in the back," She replied to me, walking away a bit now as BB-3 once again taped my leg once more before I looked back at the droid again.

"Go back," I instructed him once more before I moved away from BB-3 before he could argue with me again, having me step down the first few steps and be engulfed with the scenery. There were so many noises there, all of the languages and the life forms talking to each other as if they had no idea what was going on around them outside in the vast open space. I wondered if they knew what was going on as I was trying to weave my way through the bar though the beings there and trying not to be noticed too much by the others were. If they knew I was part of the Resistance, I could be in big trouble.

Most importantly, the Resistance would be in big trouble.

* * *

"So, the peace treaty still stands?" Maz and I were sitting across from one another in the back of the bar, the most secluded area where there were less noise and fewer eyes on us. She was sitting Indian-Style, her cup of tea was in her hands and I was drinking my own cup.

"It does, General Organa is still seeing your castle and territory as an ally," I explained to her, then fishing out the device that Organa gave me before I took off, placing it in the middle and touching the activation button. A virtual and electronic treaty was placed in between us, Maz looking at the sight and focusing her glasses on each word there. I waited, looking out from time to time at the bar people passing by and talking to one another. I wondered, for a second, what would it be like to be amongst them, and to not be tangled in something like this.

"I still agree to this," She said finally, having me look back to her now as she touched the button to have it fall back into the device,"I have yet to have any kind of confrontation with the Resistance thus far, and I don't think I'll be having any kind of trouble in the future,"

"I'll be sure to let the General know your decision," I explained to her as I sat there across from Maz at the table, folding my hands on the table now a she cocked a grin at me.

"In the past, they've sent me seasoned pilots, those who know their way around the universe and know hot to handle their own. But you….you seem more….innocent than the others." She explained, having me shift a bit in my seat and feel a bit out of place when she said it in such a light-hearted way.

"I've been a pilot for awhile now, almost 6 years," I said back to her in a polite tone. She grinned.

"Such a short amount of time for a pilot such as you," She commented to me, taking a sip of her drink once more.

"I was a mechanic before, I've been a mechanic since I was a young child." I answered back, seeing her body language there and how she was tilting her head at me and trying to read me in her spot. It was like General Organa all over again, but this time, it was far more curious than General Organa. She was purely curious, thinking in her head. She was reading me again, and I once again let like I was under a microscope.

"I wonder why they would send me a youngling," She said to me, her tone was soft there across the table from me and with a hint of care as she went with her ramble with me, "You look are too innocent….too lost to be doing something like this."

"Lost," I repeated, a bit confused as to why she said that. She focused her lenses again, making her eyes look bigger behind the glasses, having me feel like I wanted to bolt and run now as she was giving me a bit more of an intense look. She could see something in me, I could tell, and though she was still small enough for me to not see her as a threat with when it came to strength, I still felt intimidated by her eyes and gaze at me,

"You've been lost for a long time," She said it like it was a fact more than a question,"Child, I have seen plenty of eyes in my life, and each of them tells a story. Yours are showing the past that was filled with pain….sadness….betrayal….and abandonment." I felt like she was reading me like a book now, almost having me want to sink to the floor and not be seen. She knew, somehow, about what append to me in the past and all that went on with me. It made me want to cry there at the table, the open book and the floodgates that I tried to close up and not have others see, and here she was unfolding them all with her kind but real words.

"How did.." I couldn't even talk to her in a full sentence, asking her how she knew all oft hat about me. She didn't seem like the kind that would investigate in people, and for her to know so much about me that other pilots had no clue about, even some of my past was not known my Poe. She unfolded it all, but it didn't seem cruel in the way she said it.

"I know your eyes," She repeated to me, "Being around for as long as I have, I have seen plenty in people come and go in this place, all from different walks of life and different places. I can see it in those eyes of yours….you've been suffering yourself."

"I'm not," I blurted to her, wanting this kind of talk to stop before it was going to get worse, at least for me. I didn't like this feeling, to be exposed in front of someone whom I just met and it was going to make me want to cry there, "I'm not suffering…"

"Don't take what I say to heart," Maz reassured me, but that sinking feeling was left within me now as she passed for a moment or two before she finally spoke once more, "But I know those eyes anywhere. I've seen them here, so long ago. Tell me, child, what is the name of your home planet?"

"Nathan Prime," I answered without blinking or hesitating, but her serious face was still there.

"Not the planet where you were raised, the planet you were born on." She corrected me, having me give her a grave look now since I was going to give her an answer that was not going to be what I wanted to hear from my own lips. It felt like a nail was going to be driving right into my chest, right at a place that was still tender and hollow at the same time.

"I don't know," I replied, finally having enough of her and what she had to say about it. I was already done with this conversation, the treaty was already set in stone and I had no other need to talk about my past with a mere stranger, someone whom I didn't know at all. I shot up from my spot, grabbing the device from the table to shove it in my pocket and I have her a stern stare.

"I won't let you talk to me like you know me," I said it to her bluntly, but still trying to sound kind enough to her. It was digging into me again, the past, my parents and what they did, the rejection and pain that was there when I knew I was not going to be like the others, like any others in the galaxy. And yet she talked about it like it was some kind of regular conversation. I was about to move out of the area where we were in, to not look back and be done with this when she spoke one more sentence to me.

"Your cochlear implant has been tampered with." I froze when she said that, having me slowly look back at her now and wonder what she meant by that as she was still staring at me with those wise and kind eyes. Did she know about it?

"What?" I asked her, seeing him point to my implant in my ear with her steady finger.

"Your implant, it's been tampered with. I can tell on how it looks, compared to others," Maz explained to me once again calmly, "Who made that for you?"

"I made it," I answered her, once again feeling like others knew about my implant more than what they knew about me, "I made it myself with my own hands."

"I can tell from the handiwork. It's unique, one of a kind, not like the other devices that I have seen on others. But I can also tell someone has done something to it," Maz dropped the bomb on me now as I reached up to touch my implant there, such familiar thing for me to do from time to time. It would make me sane, knowing that it was there under my fingers and against my ear. But this time, it was a bit scary to touch it, since if she was telling the truth, then someone really did something to it. I had to think of a time when someone would have done it since I would always wear it. The only times I would ever remember taking it off was when I was asleep and when I was back on Jakku…

Oh no.

"The stormtrooper…" I said out loud, not thinking about it before, but now it was hitting me in all the different places. I was back there, back there in the darkness of that village and on my back, the pain in my leg was evident again as the stormtrooper was looking right at me. I remembered the blood on the helmet, the fours streaks there that were like fingers. His voice, it was both watery and uneasy as he said those two words.

 _"I'm Sorry."_

"Let me see your device," Maz said to me calmly now, holding out her hand for me to give it to her. I was still hesitant about taking it off, to have that piece of me be gone for even a moment or so. She was already knowing much more about me than I would ever want to hear from another person, but how she spoke it was making me think that she was trying to help me. Reluctantly, I took it out and hearing nothing moving out of m right ear, the silent hum was there again as I walked over to hand it to her. Once it touched her fingers and was in her palm, she started to examine it over and over, moving the device around with such precision and many fluid movements. I waited there though the seconds felt more like minutes and almost hours really as she then find;;y stopped what she was doing and then gave me a hard stare like she just uncovered something about my implant that was both sinister and serious.

"It was no life form that tampered with your implant, but something else that did it," She explained to me slowly, placing the cochlear implant on the table between the both of us, having me slowly look from her to my cochlear implant again, thinking of what would have touched my device without me knowing, it was not making sense at all to me, and it was making me both confused and frustrated since now I had no idea what was going on. There was a loud clatter, something crashed outside our area in the main room of the bar.

Maz huffed, getting up from the table now and walking around the side.

"You stay here, I'll deal with whatever that was," She explained to me as she moved on to the other edge of our secluded room, looking back at me and pointing with her finger, "Don't leave this room, understand?"

"Yes," I replied, not thinking anything else to say in that moment as she left the room finally without a second thought to it. I was too enraptured with the notion that something else, not a human or a lifer, was not the cause of my device being fooled or played with. Was it a droid? It had to be have been a droid of some kind, which made me more confused than ever. For some reason now, feeling that Maz was knowing more about me than I cared to admit, I wanted to get out of there. I needed to get out of there, to get back to the base and maybe find more answers there. This place was not safe, it didn't feel safe anymore. This was a neutral place, no Resistance or First Order being the stronger force there. But it was still no a good place for me anyhow.

Finally, after looking at it for far too long, I grabbed the implant and placed it back in my ear. The sounds were back again, but it was another sound that caught my eye. I listened in, wondering what the voices I was hearing and where they were coming from. It was jumbled, almost like there were more voices than one as I then suddenly heard Maz's voice, bellowing out loud from the main area of the bar.

"HAN SOLO."

What in the hell the going on?


	9. Chapter 9

Han Solo. The name was beyond familiar to me, and it made me rush over to the corner of the smaller room I was in to peer out and see if I was going to recognize him, or even know what he looked like. I never met him, apparently he's been gone for some time and General Organa hasn't seen him in quite some time. There were rumors around the base that they were together, like a couple or something like that. But I was never one to rely on the rumor mill, especially the rumor mill that was on the Resistance Base. I was still curious, though, beyond curious as I was trying to locate Maz and where she went. There were too many people around, moving to and for to make it harder for me to find the small being.

Damnit.

I wanted to stay there since I had no idea who was there, I had no one there as an ally. But then again I told Maz that I wasn't going to leave the room, so I felt conflicted. Technically I should be out of there and on my way because the treaty was done and she had nothing else for me. Maybe she wanted me to stay to talk about my implant some more.

Speaking of which.

I reached up to touch it with my fingers, feeling the anxiety once again that someone was touching my implant without me knowing and having me realize what was going on. It was bothering me, making me feel like I want to panic since I wondered who would be wanting to touch my implant. At first, my thoughts were going to the stormtrooper, but the again Maz made me remember that it was not a life form that touched, or tempered in her terms, my implant. So….was it a droid of some sort?

There was beeping heard in my device, having me hear BB-3 now talking to me at a fast rate.

"What do you mean I have a message?" I whispered, having me hearing him beep some more as I rolled my eyes then, "Fine, I'll be out there in five minutes. Don't leave the X-Wing." I heard nothing else from the communicator now as I finally got over to the edge of the room once more, thinking that I now had to get out of there and find out whatever the message was from BB-3. I still saw nothing from Maz, making me think that I was in the clear and I was now slowly starting to weave my way through the area, trying not to make myself be seen by the passerby's and the locals that were in the bar. Music was blaring, conversations about things that were meaningless were invading me, and I was only trying to get out of there and over to BB-3. I still had to act casual there, not wanting to bring out any wandering eyes in my direction.

I was about to get to the open door, home free, away from here, when I bumped into another life form, or whom I thought was a life form. We both shoved into each other without reading it, and I looked over to apologize to him, but he beat me to it. It was a human, young man with age but who looked like he had the look of conflict in his eyes. He had a kind face, but it was troubled now as we locked eyes.

"I'm sorry—" He said, the both of us freezing as we laid eyes on each other. I was frozen, because I heard that voice before, back on Jakku. It was the same voice, it had to be, since it sounded the same kind of conflict laced here and a hint of passion about it. It was such a human tone of a voice, but it was the voice, that same from the Stormtrooper that spared my life. He spared my life, and yet I was hearing it again in this human in front of me. I was shocked, really shocked when he said it, but it was the look he was giving me that gave me chills. It was like he's seen before like I was a ghost from his past. it felt like we've met before, somewhere far away, very far away from here.

Did we?

I was still walking since people were still behind me, keeping my eyes on the human for another moment or two and seeing him watch me again with the frozen look of pure shock there on his face. Someone tapped him, snapping him out of it as I now then look forward once more, thinking that it was some kind of sick coincidence. But then something else happened to flash my mind, having me almost want to run back to the human again and see if my eyes were playing a trick.

Was he wearing a Resistance jacket? Poe's jacket?

"Poe?" I asked aloud to myself, thinking that I knew that jacket, more than one I touched that jacket whether Poe was wearing it or not. But this felt off, thinking that I was seeing another jacket. But I knew that jacket,t I knew what it looked like…it had to be his jacket. I thought it was. I really was convinced that it was his jacket. He was gone, without me seeing him again.

The sun was beaming down at me again, having em breathe in the cool crisp air that was there around the castle now and the high walls were almost engulfing me as I walked away from the bar and over to where I parked the X-Wing. I wanted to keep it a bit away from the castle in case someone was going to find out where I was, trying to keep it more hidden so that other wouldn't be able to see or be noticed.

Finally, seeing it well hidden amongst the trees and near the east side of the castle, my X-Wing was nestled within the trees and branches. BB-3 was there near the X-Wing seeing me finally and beeping at me in a fast rate now, having me hear now urgent the message was apparently and I jogged over now.

"I'm here, I'm here," I said to the droid now as he the trying tog et me to get into the cockpit now and open the top to grab my helmet and hear the message. BB-3 was still whizzing at me some more, telling me that I had to spread to it as soon as possible and I could not delay.

"Atta, Atta you there?" It was Poe on the other end now, having me sigh in both relief and in agitation since it felt like whatever he had to say to me would have waited when I got back to the base.

"What is it, Dameron?" I asked him now.

"Why didn't you answer me before?" He questioned, sounding like he was beyond concern from just talking to me now.

"I was still talking to Maz about the treaty? What happened?" I asked him over the communicator in my helmet, propping myself up to sit on the edge of the cockpit and my feet dangling over the edge and into the air now. The way he made it sound was like something serious went on at the base, that or something was about to in the near future.

"BB-8 is there, he's there on the planet," I almost fell out of my seat when he told me that, though he still sounded a bit calm and collected about it, and I thought he would be more excited about the thought of me being new rush droid and trying yo find him myself.

"What? Are you sure?" I asked him now, trying to think back to if I missed seeing him somewhere and if he passed me from within a moment or two.

"He's there," I smiled there, thinking that this was beyond good since we were trying yo find him in the first place with his key and clue that he needed to General Organa.

"That's great! I can go find him and make sure he gets home to—"

"Atta, listen. Something else happened," He stopped me before I could say anything else to him, having me stay still there and hear the pain there in his voice, the pain, and the fear. I knew then that something was seriously wrong, beyond wrong.

"Poe What's going on?" I asked in a lower tone now, the sense of fear was coming over me too now since it could mean that anything might have gone south within seconds now, either back at the base or somewhere else.

"Someone reported BB-8 being there, reported to us…and also to the First Order." I felt my blood go cold there with the notion of the First Order now knowing where BB-8 was, and that had to have meant.

"They're coming here," I ended the conversation there, at least, the statement that I was thinking about. They were still going to get their hands on BB-8 since neither one of us found him yet. It might have been a race against time, it had to have been now, and for me to be in the same area os BB-8 was almost the perfect opportunity for me to find him and bring him back to the Resistance. If he was truly here, and if people saw him, it was only a matter of time that he was going to be snatched up and taken away. So now, I had to be the one to do it. I really had to be the one.

"I can get him," I said to Poe now after thinking about it for a moment or two.

"You need to get out of there," he said to me, having me knit my eyebrows in confusion.

"Poe, we can just leave BB-8 behind now since we know he's here," I countered with him.

"We can and we will, I would rather have you back here alive then risk losing you and someone we need for the resistance," He explained to me in a stern manner, but I shook my head at him then, thinking that we were going to have another fight about my safety and what I can handle and not handle. He was not going to convince me to back off of this when I knew that I could get BB-8.

"I'm not leaving this planet without BB-8," I said to him, holding my ground there even though I could not see him. He had to hear it in my voice there, he had to know that I was not going to give him to even leave and be safe. Safety was out the window now, we had BB-8 so close within my grasp. This had to be done, he had to be brought back

"Atta, don't argue with me on this one, please," He said it in a calmer way now, thinking that he was just trying to remain peaceful about the situation since he knew that we were not the type to scream ta each other.

"I'm not arguing with you, I'm telling you. You don't want to see you own droid again?" I asked him back in a counter question.

"You know I do," He replied back in a huff now.

"Then we have nothing else to talk about: I'll find BB-8 and bring him back."

"The First Order is going to be there at any minute," Poe reminded me, "You are only one person against what could be an entire fleet of First Order TIE fighters."

"You don't think I can outwit them?"I asked him with a raised tone.

"You think you can?" He asked me back with agitation back there in his voice.

"I can sure as hell try," I said back to him in a short manner. Something shifted up int he sky, having me think what it was and how it was almost a bit too right for me to ignore. I finally turned up to gaze at the sky, to see what was going on and I saw something streaked across the sky, a small sliver of color and light.

"They are up to something, General Organa is thinking that is too big for just one Resistance fighter against a whole amount of TIE fighters—" Poe was still talking into the intercom now as I was seeing something that was breaking my heart. It couldn't be right, I was not supposed to be seeing this at all. But the crimson streak in the sky was telling me otherwise.

"Poe, it's the Hosnian System," I said to him in a gasp, hearing him no longer rant at me anymore as I was seeing it all right in front of me: silent but deadly now, "It's all gone."

"Gone?"

"All of those planets. Poe, someone just destroyed them." I was seeing it, one planet after another one being destroyed and blown to bits. They looked like they were being blown up by some kind of ray, the red streak in the sky was now making me realize that it was some kind of weapon. They were gone, one by one, into nothing there in the sky right blue. This was turning my stomach and making me feel knots there under my skin, my breath quickening.

The First Order did this.

"Atta, get out of there, now." He ordered me as I was now looking back at the castle, BB-8 was not back in my head again and I panicked. They were going to come here, and if they did something as powerful as killing a whole planet, then they could probably do the exact same thing to this one. BB-8 had to get out of there, and fast.

"I'm going after him!" I said to him placing my hands there on my helmet and was about to shrug it off when he kept talking.

"Organa is sending out a couple of us to help ease the TIE fighters off of you. I'm coming right now, but you need to leave before the First Order gets there. You won't stand a chance," He said to me in a rush, having me sit still there on the X-Wing now and feel like he was now challenging me there. I knew he had faith in me, he's told me plenty of times when I felt down or defeat, but how he sounded there made me it seem like he didn't. I almost wanted to growl at him, then not talk to him anymore.

"Watch me," I replied, hearing him protest once more and yell out my name as I threw the helmet off and jumped back down onto the earth. I didn't want to talk about it anymore, all I wanted to do was to find that droid that he's been wanting to find himself. BB-3 hummed at me, having me look over my shoulder now at him as he buzzed and beep something. It made me raise my eye.

"He has a tracker on him? Since when?" I asked him now, seeing him whizz at me some more as I rolled my eyes.

"Of course, that would happen," I replied back to B-3, "You know where he is?" The watched the droid nod his head at me as I looked back over at the castle. I was really thinking that I had literally a few minutes before all would break lose and all chaos would ensue. This was the last place that I was supposed to be in right now.

"Come on, let's go find him," I said to the droid now, the both of us finally getting under way with our rescue mission for BB-8. BB-3 was right behind me as I was thinking to head back over to the front of the castle, to see if he was going to be somewhere in there. But once we were reaching the are of the front of the castle, I could hear some noises and some murmurs of the people there that were once in the bar, having me slow my run to a walk and peek around the corner. I didn't want to be seen because apparently someone there was with the First Order.

All of the people that were in the bar were outside, watching the system above them in the stars being blown away. It almost broke my heart to see the look on their faces, having them see the destruction that was right in front of them, and for them to not do a single thing. Some of them might have been from the outer rim, others closely, and even a fair few used to live on those planets. But now they were seeing a darker side of the universe that was more chilling and more fearful. And all that could do, was watch.

It was scary.

BB-3 beeped at me once, then I heard him moving away from me and I looked over to see what he was doing. The droid was making a beeline over to the forest now and I was worried about what he was about to do. I ran after him, not thinking about but wondering where he was going.

"Wait up!" I said to the droid now as we were moving farther away from the castle and over to the thick forest, the trees were far too high for me to see what could be there within the green leaves and the swooping his. What was he thinking of going in there without telling me what was going on? What did he think was in there? Did he find something that would be considered a clue?

"BB-3!" I called out to him now since he was getting too far away from each other, having me panic that I was going to lose him in there too and it was going to have me worry to death. He was still far away but still in my line of sight now as he was getting his way through the forest and into the thick of it all. Damn, where did he go? I stopped suddenly in the middle of the forest and I looked around in a panic, wondering where he went to and if he was okay?

"3!" I said out loud in a panic, having me grab my blaster without thinking and holding it tightly in my hand since I had the sense that something was about to go wrong. I had no clue where he was, if he was okay and if he was still around in the near area. I was hearing nothing that would indicate where BB-3 was, and I was starting to feel like I lost him forever, all because he sped off without a trace.

 _We're coming into the atmosphere. Find the droid at all costs!_ It made me freeze there as I could hear another wave from an intercom somewhere off in the distance, someone that sounded dark and grounded. It was the First Order, and they were coming.

Suddenly, out in front of me, I heard not one set of beeping, but two sets of beeping. It made me look in confusion, but it was when I finally saw two droids rolling back over my way now as I realized who was in with BB-3. I smiled in relief, almost running over to meet them halfway now as I knew who the second droid was.

BB-8!

"BB-8! Oh, thank goodness!" I said in a gasp now as I met them and fell to my knees, wrapping my arms around the BB-unit and closing my eyes. He was there, after wondering where he was this whole time and thinking that the First Order had him, BB-8 was finally there with me and I was beyond glad, overwhelmed really. He beeped in my arms, almost nuzzling into me as I hugged him for a moment or two longer before BB-3 beeped at me in a hurried manner. It made me move away from BB-8 now, the two droids looking at me as I was staring at my own droid in confusion and a bit of shock.

"He was with who?" I asked him now, then having me hear something booming, right near the castle and in that same direction. I thought of the worst, that the First Order was already there and making more havoc on the planet. All for the sake of a BB-Unit.

"Come on, we need to get out of here," I said to the both of them, running now back over to the castle, hearing more and more explosions going off as we were getting closer and closer to the castle. It was getting more dreary as the noises were getting louder and louder, the ground shaking underneath us. I could hear the TIE fighters in the air now, swooping in over our heads and having me panic a bit. I wanted to go back to the castle and see if anyone needed help, apparently the Resistance was coming within minutes to help with the fight. But then again, I didn't want the uNits to be in the middle of the whole thing. I had to make sure they were going to be safe.

That was my mission.

Once we reached the edge of the forest, I saw the horror of the destruction of the castle there. It was all in ruins now, pieces falling and crumbling to the ground within seconds from the TIE fighters swooping in and around the area, shooting it all down and leveling it. I was standing there in awe, never seeing something this from the First Order before. They were aiming to kill, beyond kill really since they were trying to make anything there that was living no longer be available to breathe. This was making me sick.

What could I do? I only had one blaster, and nothing else but my own fast thinking brain. I didn't even have my now backpack with my roots that were almost a wee bit of an advantage to me. But it was nothing against him, and I felt as though as I should have listened to Poe in the first place: I should have fled.

All of the sudden, up in the sky, there was another sound that I knew for years and years on end. I smiled at hearing that sound and gasped in relief as two of them flew over my head and over to the castle: X-Wings. Finally, they were here.

"Poe," I said in relief.

He was here.


	10. Chapter 10

" _Go straight ahead and don't let theses dogs scare you!"_ I could hear Poe talk to the others as I was still with the two droids there on the ground. X-Wings and TIE fighters were all over the place, along with the sound of blasters and a fight going on near the castle. BB-8 bumped me there, urging me along as he was beeping at me again since I was frozen there on the ground and drinking it all in. We were caught in the middle of the battle, almost having me a bit afraid to take one more step out there and be caught there.

"What?" I asked BB-8 now as he was beeping at me again, having me look at the droid in shock from what he told me. Han Solo was there, with BB-8? No wonder I heard Maz calling out his name some minutes before when I was still staying in the back of the room.

"He brought you here?" I asked BB-8 now, but then I heard another round of shooting again and I was looking back towards the castle. I finally had to make some kind of choice to help out in any way that I could. I couldn't leave the fight, not now when I knew I could do something in order to help the Resistance. I had to fight back, really fight back.

"BB-3, take BB-8 to the X-Wing and stay there," I instructed my own droid there as they both beeped in agreement now as I got my blaster ready in my hand, running over to the castle without a second thought to it. I never considered myself as a good enough fighter on the ground, since I was a bit better at fighting in my X-Wing. This was different, but it was better than nothing else. I was already on the ground and already having a weapon in hand, might as well do some good with it.

As soon as I saw some stormtroopers coming to my line of eyesight, I started shooting and maneuvering my way over to the main part of the fight. There were barely anyone on our side there on the ground, and one of them was, of course, Han Solo and his comrade Chewbacca. He fighting with a vigor within his own stance and his own shooting of his blaster, and it almost made me falter a bit from seeing the elegy himself. He was older in his years, but it didn't look like it. Since I never really met him, hearing plenty of stories about him was enough for me to almost admire him. But I kept shooting at the stormtroopers, seeing them fall one by one now as I was trying to weave my way over through the large rubble of the ruined castle. I wasn't sued to this, and I would falter every once in awhile since flying was more of my kind of style.

One of the stormtroopers was shooting back at me, having me duck a bit now as he was getting closer and closer to me now to the point when I knew he could punch me out if he could. It was what he tried to do actually, aiming his pistol right at me and before I could even react, he was close enough to reach out and grab my arm in the process. I was yanked over to him, having me try to wiggle my way out of his hold as I was almost trying to shoot him at the same time. He dropped his own gun, grabbing my throat and having em gasp for air, his fingers were digging into my skin and making it almost impossible to breathe. He was trying to choke me, I could feel it and how he was keeping me so close to him now as I was struggling to wiggle out of the hold that he had on me.

"Resistance scum." He sneered at me, almost making me snap there since he used the term "Scum" on me. It was a term that was used to me plenty of times, and I was not going to allow it be labeled on me. Not again. I finally grabbed both of his wrists, clenching them and yanking him towards me. He fell forward, having me pull him down and hit him hard with my kneecap that was flying up as he was going down. he grunted as he made contact, releasing me from the hold he had on me and then having me kick him hard in the face to knock him out completely. He was finally down for the count, making em breathe out heavily now and get air back in my lungs again. I was exhausted at this point, almost falling over now as I was trying to grab both my own blaster and his blaster, thinking two was better than none.

"Remind me never to get Atta pissed, did you see her take out that stormtrooper with her bare hands?" I heard Novak talking in the communicator, having me grin and look up at the X-Wings that were flying around in the are, taking out the other TIE fighters that were in the area. It made em sigh in relief, knowing that they were watching me the whole time to maybe make sure that I was alright on my own. But the moment was short-lived when I head another fighter going on behind me, making me look over my shoulder and see a flare of red go across my face now as the man that I saw earlier with the pilot's jacket was fighting another stormtrooper. But he wasn't holding a blaster in his hands: it was a lightsaber.

A lightsaber?

He was fighting him off, almost looking like he was on the struggling side of it all as the stormtrooper finally got him to be on the ground and lose the lightsaber a few feet away from him. I rushed over there, thinking that I had to defend the man in any way that I could since clearly he was on our side with this whole thing. Once the Stormtrooper rose his own weapon that looked more like a baton more than anything, I took the shot without thinking twice, seeing him grunt out and fall to the floor within a second of me shooting him.

Once he was on the floor, the young man looked at me then since I was still holding out the blaster in front of me, watching me in amazement now as I finally lowered it and took in another breath, my neck was now aching from the recent attack on me and I could feel the bruises starting to form there on the skin. I wanted to say something to him, to ask him about the jacket he was wearing and why it made me think of Poe, and to see if he was okay. For some reason, nothing comes out of my mouth, but something was coming in with my device. I heard the voice from some time ago, back on Jakku, the same one that gives me a chill up and down my spine.

Kylo Ren.

" _Pull the division out. Forget the droid, we have what we need."_

He was here, and he had something that seemed important that was no BB-8. It made me look around and wonder where he was and what he had in his possession. Good thing it wasn't BB-8, and I hoped that the droid was nowhere near the area like I told him not to be. But what did the man want? What did he have now?

"Some of the TIE fighters are retreating!" Snap said in his own intercom now as I was moved away from the aftermath of the battle now since most of the people there were already dead. I had no real way to talking to Poe or the others since I left my helmet behind, so I had to no way of telling them what I heard and what was going on, but it was all shot to hell now as I saw something moving in the shadows near the edge of the forest, something that was moving with determination. It made me watch in a small look of fear now, seeing the larger vessel parked there near the trees and someone moving over there, holding a being that was unconscious in his arms. It was a young girl, I could see her face there out cold in his arms as he was stalking his way over to his black vessel. The man was Kylo Ren, I remember seeing the man some time before on Jakku with his mask and black attire. For some reason, this time, I was not going to let him just walk away when I knew I could do some kind of damage to him. He took Poe away from me, and he wasn't going to do the same thing with this you girl, no matter who she was.

I rose my blaster and shot once.

It was about to hit him, having me see him finally shoot a look over in my direction now as the beam that I shot at him was utterly averted to move over to the side now and hit the tree near him, not hitting him in the slightest. I could tell he was looking right at me, that he was the one who made the shot move to the side and not touch him. It shocked me to see something like that, and it made me more convinced that he was powerful in the Force, much more than before. It felt like once we locked eyes with one another, something was being taped in my mind. Like someone or something was trying to get in without me realizing it. It scared me, having me gasp from the feeling of my brain being shuffled around, all from him looking right at me. Was he doing this? Was he reading my mind? Why did it feel that way?

I saw it again, the map inside my head, all from that one look that he gave me there with the unconscious woman in his arms. It was still so clear in my head, clear and yet…unclear. It was going around and around in my head and it wasn't slowing down. It felt more violent that it was in my head, way more violent, both of the map and whatever this man was doing to my brain. It was all too much like my brain was about to explode from too many things happening at one time.

Finally, I blacked out, falling to the floor without me realizing it.

 _"NNOOO! Come back!" I was screaming again, back at the ship that was ascending into the air and leaving me behind. My grandfather was running after me, trying to keep me there and not chase after the ship. But I was running, still running in hopes that I would get to them, to get to the two people that were leaving me behind and not having a second thought to it. Tears stung my eyes, my lungs were about to give out in my three-year-old body, and I collapsed to the ground since they were too high for me. I watched in horror and betrayal. not understanding why they were doing this and making me feel worthless. I screamed as the ship was nowhere ins right now. They left me._

 _My parents left me._

* * *

 **Poe's POV:**

"Dameron, I need to speak to you," General Organa said to me now as I was finishing up my own talk with Finn. WE were back at the base, some time after the assault happening, and we were trying to wrap things up there and move onto the next phase of the operation. We got the planet safe again but at the price of Finn's friend Rey being taken by the Jedi himself and the First Order. We had more things tow sorry about, the discovery of a super weapon at a place called Starkiller Base. The Resistance was about to go in for another shot of stopping them, once and for all.

But my thoughts were on Atta.

She was found unconscious in the battle there amongst the rubble, right after Rey was taken away with the rest of the First Order. As soon as we got her onto the vessel to take her back to the base, the rest of the pilots were asking about her to make sure she was alright. Even Novak was worried, and once we got there, she was rushed to the medical ward. I was scared, beyond scared since she wasn't waking up. I thought something worse has happened to her, something more serious and I wondered if she was going to be okay. I was never scared about something like this, not since my mother died. This was Atta, my Atta.

I followed General Organa over to the medical ward now, having a sinking feeling in my stomach now because we were heading over to the room where Atta was in. Was it something worse about it? Did she have something serious on her? I could tell how General Organa was walking like she was on some kind of mission within her steps. I wanted to ask her what was going on, but I stayed quite as we turned the corner and she walked into the room.

Atta's room.

She was still out cold there in her bed, her implant was out but it was nowhere to be found. That was the first red flag for me, not being able to know where her implant was. She never left without it, so that meant something was seriously wrong with it, or with her. She was asleep in her bed, a peaceful sleep was on her face where there was evidence of the battle there. I saw the bruises there around her neck, and when I first saw them I wanted to snap at any stormtrooper that I saw because I didn't know which one did that to her. She was tainted by the battle, and I could see that she was still beautiful even when she looked rather broken and beaten. It pained me, painted me very much to see her like that.

"We have a bit of problem with Atta," Organa explained to me now as I looked from Atta over to the General now with a confused look, crossing my arms in front of me as I stood next to Atta in almost a protective manner.

"What do you mean, General?" I asked her, seeing her take in a heating breath now, seeing what was weighing her down on her face.

"Her cochlear implant was tampered with, and when one of our mechanics took it to make sure it was working properly, they…they found something," I raised an eyebrow at her, not clearly understanding what she was telling me about Atta and her implant. Was someone messing with it? That was highly unlikely, not in my eyes since I knew Atta far too well and she would never let someone touch it without her permission. Something happened to her, and it was taken from her beyond her will.

"Someone took her implant and what? placed something in it?" I asked her, not understanding what she was saying to me. It was making em mad, not knowing what it meant and what it meant for Atta.

"Exactly," She replied without missing a beat to it. I stared at her in disbelief, not wanting to be angry about or ask about it some more since I was talking to my boss, the one person whom I admired and saw as one of my heroes. But this was the girl I fell in love with, Atta. Someone tried something with her and it made my own blood boil now. I lowered one of my hands to touch Atta's arm, without thinking about it realizing what I was doing.

"It wasn't a lifeform that did this, though," She reasoned with me, making me look at her again in confusion since it was still making no sense to me. I kept my hand on her arm, not moving at all when she dropped the next line that almost changed everything for me.

"It was a droid. A droid placed something in her implant."


	11. Chapter 11

**Poe's POV**

"A droid?" I asked in disbelief, giving a wrinkled look on my face as Organa said that to me. Some droid did this to her implant, it was almost not making sense at all in my head as to who would do that to her cochlear implant. She never would part from it, and no one would be stupid enough to take it. it was not even a choice to. It made me look back over at Atta once more, seeing her still asleep and peaceful there. It scared me, to think that she was now in way over her head and nothing could really be the same with her.

"Come, I'll show you," General Organa said to me now as she motioned with her head to get out of the room now, having me take once step before stopping myself. It made me look back at Atta, grasping her hand in my own to bring it to my lips, kissing the top of her hand delicately in hopes that she would both feel it and not wake up. I was still scared for her, for the first time in a long time I was really scared for her in how she was going to get over this kind of injury. I placed her hand down and reluctantly left her side, thinking that something would happen if I was away from her.

"Don't worry, Master Dameron," I heard C3PO say to me in his almost chipper kind of tone now as he walked into the room and stood right by her side, "I'll watch over her and let you know if anything does change in Miss Teckno's medical records," I had to give him some kind of small smile to show that I listened. It was better than her being alone, but then again I was still feeling a bit crabby about it.

"Thanks," I replied back to him in a half-hearted kind of way, seeing him then look over at the monitor next to Atta as I walked out. Once I was out in the hallway. I shoved my hands in my pockets now as I followed General Organa almost like an obedient puppy. I was more interested in what was going on in such a simple thing like a cochlear implant, and once we reached the main hanger, I could see BB-8 there waiting for us. Han Solo and Chewbacca were there as well, along with Finn and some of the other captains and officers that were interested in finding out what was going on. I wondered why they all needed to be there if they to were worried about her or just there for the sake of being there. Right in the middle of the table, under one of the projectors that we would use before any kind of combat, was Atta's cochlear implant. It was just sitting there, like any other object there in the room and nothing more. It was almost twisting my stomach in knots again from seeing it away from Atta.

"BB-8 please show us the map again," General Organa said to my droid, BB-8 beeping a bit and then looking at me now, almost like he wanted me to give the approval to do.

"It's okay, buddy," I said to him now, seeing him then place up the projector from the device that he had. It was a map, having all of us look at it now and see the process map that we were looking at mere moments before when we were trying to cook up a plan to get StarKiller Base destroyed and Finn's friend Rey back to us. The map was almost giving the a polished kind of glow about and I looked over at General Organa again.

"This was the device that BB-8 had with him, and this was what was inside Atta's cochlear implant." General Organa explained, reaching over to a button and tapping it. There was a glow underneath the device, then a projection of the exact same map was hovering over the implant. It made me not say a word or two, seeing the exact same map, same lines and dots, everything was exactly the same.

Did she have the same map?

"Her implant had a copy of the map to Luke Skywalker within the device," General Organa explained out loud to the group, though my eyes were still on the two identical maps there in front of us, having me feel a chill going up and down my spine. She had the map this whole time, within her implant, and those time when she talked about some kind of map within her vision…this was the same map that she was talking about? She told me about a map that Kylo Ren wanted, and I almost felt like she was talking on the crazy side because of what he went through on Jakku. But she was right all along, and the map was for Luke Skywalker.

"You can copy something into a cochlear implant?" Finn asked in curiosity now as he was looked at both of the maps with curious eyes. I could tell he was still known to stuff like this, and I wouldn't blame him because of the life he used to have and the life he used to know.

"It's not just an implant," I said to him, all of them looking at me now as I sighed and looked at the cochlear implant in front of everyone and that was still active, "Atta's made it more of a computer. It's a communicator, radio transmitter…she's done enough upgrade on this implant for years to make it more of a computer than anything. By the time she finished upgrading it, it was highly more advanced than some the equipment on the base."

"So she was walking around with a computer attached to her this whole time?" Han Solo asked out of the blue with his gruff of a tone. General Organa eyed him from her spot near me and I looked away from the implant over at the pair of them.

"You make it sound like it's a natural discovery," She voiced to him in an amused tone of voice now as I talked again, trying to bring back the conversation to Atta and the map she was apparently carrying around this whole time.

"Why would she have the same map that we've been looking for in her implant? It doesn't make sense to me," I explained to the group again, looking back at the implant with more confusion.

"It's like I said, Dameron," General Organa voice to me in sincerity, "It wasn't a life form that placed the map there."

"How do you know?" Finn asked her.

"There wasn't any evidence on her implant that showed that a life form did this. Nothing looked removed or shifted, it was still all intact." She answered me.

"So, it was a droid?" Han asked with confusion written all over his face. I was feeling the same way too, wondering why a droid would want to do something like that to Atta. Before I could even ask the reason why, or who would do something like that, someone beeping out of the blue and we all looked to see who it was that was confessing to the crime.

BB-8.

"You did that?" I asked, almost looking my breath from asking that from my own droid. He beeped back, almost in hesitance now as he turned off his own map projection. BB-8 did that/ He was the one who placed it in her implant without telling me or anyone for that matter? The way he said it, though, made me take a step back. BB-8 sounded almost scared to tell me, having me move over to him and kneel in front of him, my arm resting on my kneecap now as I was watching my own faithful companion and droid with my eyes.

"Why did you give her the map, buddy?" I asked him, seeing him look at me with hesitance now before he started to respond to my question. He was telling me all that he was feeling, and it almost broke my heart from what he was telling me confessing like he committed some kind of crime again me.

"What did he say?" Finn asked as he walked over to stand next to me, having me bit my lip and see BB-8 try got keep a distance away from me as if he was closer to me he would get in trouble or I would snap at him.

"He thought it would be safer with her than with him," I explained in a solemn tone, "Bb-8 thought he was going to be captured, and Atta was safer to keep it," BB-8 at this point was looking grave about it than anything, his head hanging low and I could hear him whizzing about something. I immediately felt the guilt there within my chest, having me place my hands on the droid and having him look at me again.

"Hey," I said to him calmly, "It's not your fault what happened to her, okay? Don't blame yourself," He was having himself feel guilty because of the state Atta was in, thinking he placed her in more danger than he thought possible. I didn't want him to feel that way, to have himself feel the pain there that I knew he could tell. He was attached to me of course, but he also was attached to Atta because of how she treated him in the past, with kindness and respect.

"Go find BB-3 and take care of him, I bet he needs a friend right now, okay?" I asked him in hopes that he would think of something else other than this. BB-3 might not be in the best place since his master was trying to heal. He beeped, finally having me sigh in relief as he snuggled into my hands some more to show that he understood, then rolling away from me and out of the room. I got back up and faced Finn, seeing the look of worry there on his face now that we had this new discovery.

"You think the First Order knows?" He asked me, mostly to me but the others heard it, "I mean, you think they knew that Atta has the map too?"

"How could they know?" Han asked.

"What knocked her out in the first place?" Finn asked him back with a counter question, "That Jedi that took Rey, he knocked Atta out because she tried to stop him. He might have had some kind of clue that she had the map with her and he tried to get her, but it didn't work."

"I don't think that's the case," General Organa tried to reason with him, having me look at her now with a small amount of shock there in my own brain. It almost sounded like she was defending him, the same Jedi that tortured me and that was after my droid and was now holding Finn's friend hostage. I could see it in how she said it, something was up.

"Well, whatever is going on with this map, we need to stay on our toes and make sure that we are ahead of the First Order. Destroying Starkiller Base is our top priority right now, and we need to focus on going through with the plan at hand," General Organa explained to us all as she looked again at the map. We had to do what she stated, that much is certain. However, with what Finn voiced out mere moments before, about that Jedi knowing about Atta and the map in her implant, it made me wonder if she was now a target. If they were going come after her now because they were under the belief that she knew where to go. Did she know where to go? Did they know?

Was Atta in more trouble than she was worth?

* * *

Atta's POV

He was in my head. That Jedi was in my head. He saw it, he saw everything

My god, he saw everything.

I woke up in the medical ward there back at the base, not thinking about it as to how I got there and how long I was asleep. All I knew was that my neck was in terrible pain, my limbs felt numb from not moving for far too long, and my head was swimming from the past events that haunted me. Of course, I couldn't dear a thing out of my right ear, since my cochlear implant out and I wondered where it was. It made me instantly look over to the stand next to the bed, thinking that it was there.

Nowhere to be found, where was it?

"Here," I heard something mumbled a bit, having me look from the nightstand over to the door that was leading into my room. Poe was standing there, watching me with a curious look in his eye, but almost looking a bit painful too since he was watching her there in the hospital bed. I saw the implant there in his hand, having me watch him as he walked into the room and had the door close behind him. he walked slowly, thoughts were plaguing his mind. I could tell in how his eyes were knitted on me, his face was looking more stern and thoughtful now as he sat down on the side of my bed, giving me a warm smile that was inviting but trying to cover something up. I smiled at him, watching the implant in his hand now as I rose my eyebrow at him.

"Someone fixed it?" I asked him as he fiddled with it a bit in his hands.

"We had one of the mechanics take a look at it while you were sleeping, just in case it was bugged," He explained as he then slowly moved over to place it in my ear again without me helping. He knew how to do it, he's done it plenty of times now and it was natural for him to help in any way that he could. Once it was in, everything was right in my world since I could hear again in my right ear. It made me sigh in relief now as Poe pulled away and watched me for a moment or two before he spoke up finally.

"I got scared that something serious happened," He explained to me calmly as he then reached down to hold our hands together in the middle of us. I nodded in agreement, seeing where he was coming from. I would be scared too if I saw someone I loved in a medical bed, not waking up.

"That Jedi saw….he saw something, Poe." I explained softly, almost in a breaking manner since I was thinking it again, Poe squeezed our hands together as I was rethinking it over and over in my head, "He saw what was in my head…all of it. He saw my parents leaving me, he saw my grandfather raising me….everything was open to him and I couldn't stop it."

"He did the same to me." Poe reminded me, "He was far too strong in the Force for someone to break away from."

"Those memories that I tried to bury, he found them and showed them to me…I hated it." I said in a bitter manner, feeling that pain there again in my chest from all that the Jedi saw and all that I couldn't do to prevent it. Poe immediately saw the pain there in my eyes and how I was about to cry, cradling my head in his hands now and pulling me close enough to kiss my head to calm me down.

"Sshh….." He said against my head now as I was trying to calm myself down then, grabbing his upper arms there and bringing myself back tor reality, "He's not going to do that to you anymore, okay?" Poe would always try this on me: protection. Everything about him screamed loyalty, even with the both of us. There was never a doubt in my mind that Poe was more selfless than selfish, going out on a limb for someone he knew needed help or aid. He was doing the same right now with me, trying to calm that pain that I thought to take over within me

"I know you far too well, Atta, and you have never been willing to just roll over and accept something to define you. I won't let you believe that this will kill you, I won't," he sternly vowed to me as he pulled away and drill his eyes into my own. I watched him, seeing how he was really laying on thick with me and not letting me see some kind of fault there in his eyes. I would do the same to him, not sugarcoating it or making it lighter than it was. We both were real with each other, from the moment we become friends until now, we were real enough. After he said it, however, I saw him differing off within his own thoughts again, having me finally ask him the question I wanted to ask from the moment he walked into the room.

'What are you thinking about?" I asked him softly, moving one of my hands up to where his eyes were, my thumb tracing the lines under his eyes gently and in a soothing fashion, "I can see it in your eyes, you're thinking about something. What is it?" He sighed, looking down at his lap when he reached up to grasp my hand that was on his cheek, making me watch him now as he looked back at me, making me see the heaviness there on his shoulders and in his eyes.

"The map you saw in your head…those visions of a map that you told me about, that map leads to Luke Skywalker," he explained to me, having me lose my breath from the thought of Luke Skywalker and the map that we were hunting for when we went on Jakku. Was it the same map? What made that possible?

"But…how was it…" I couldn't even think of a longer sentence from what I wanted to bring together.

"BB-8 implanted the map into your cochlear implant while you were unconscious on Jakku…do you remember?" He asked me in hope, making me try to think back to when that happened. I was running, away from the village with BB-8 right behind me. I fell, I was shot in the leg, and that stormtrooper…

 _"I'm sorry."_

"After the stormtrooper knocked me out." I said out loud, remembering it finally and looking back at Poe with wide eyes, "BB-8 gave me that map then?"

"He thought it would be safer with you than with him, so he placed a copy of it in your implant in case something happened to him. I think he realized that either way, the Resistance was going to have the map with or without him," Poe answered, having me have a small flicker of a smile there on my lips.

"What a smart little droid," I said in a lighter manner, a flicker of a grin was there too with Poe when I said that about his own droid. Leave it to BB-8 to try and think outside the box and outside his own hard drive. Now that I knew what was going on with my own implant and what was in there, a vital piece of this whole situation that we were in, I could only think about what is next for the Resistance and wonder what else I could do.

"So," I finally said to him now, taking in a deep breath and shifting a bit in the medical bed that I was in, "What do we do from here?"

"You think you should rest up a bit?" Poe asked me, having me give him a challenging look now. I didn't care that I was in a hospital bed, that I had bruises around my neck or that I almost got killed by a Jedi who tapped into my mind. I was still breathing, I was still thinking straight, and I was willing to still want to help.

"I'm not dead, so let me fly again."


	12. Chapter 12

**1 year ago**

I woke up to the sound of harsh breathing, having me think that something was stirred in the dead of night and it made me worry. I knew that breathing, it was short and labored, like something was weighing down on those lungs and now he was able to breathe finally. I blinked, rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand and reach over to grab my implant now as I saw where I was. We were back in his room, the quiet of the night was over the room and the chill of the night was lingering in the air. But my mind was focused on what I was hearing: the laboring breath. It made me look over my shoulder, seeing him hunched over on the side of the bed, holding his head in his hands and trying to calm himself down. It made me get up a bit, having him feel the dip in the bed and he finally turned his head to look at me.

"Go back to sleep," he tried to reason with me, but I shook my head and sat up straight, moving the hair out of my eyes as I rested my chin on his shoulder near his head, watching him with my worried eyes.

"Not until you tell me what's on your mind," I said back, seeing him look at me in worry now.

"Nothing is," he tried to promise me, but I grinned and kissed his shoulder there, feeling how cool his skin as against my lips.

"You're lying. I know you're thinking, I can see how you're eyebrows are knitted together and your eyes are lost in thought," I explained, seeing him slowly smile at me as I reached over to grasp his hand in my own, very gentle and careful now as I watched him some more and stayed nice and quiet about it, "What is it?"

"I dreamt of my mother," he explained, pausing and drinking it in again with his own mind now as I listened and I didn't say a word, "I saw her in my dream, it made me miss her. I miss her, Atta."

"I know you do," I reaffirmed him, watching him with my own eyes and leaning in a bit closer to him now to have him feel me there.

"I wish she could have seen me now, seen what've I done," He said in almost a sorrowful kind of a whisper. I leaned up to kiss his hair, holding it there for a bit before I placed my chin back on his shoulder and I grinned.

"She's watched you, I know she has." I reassured him, hearing him say nothing for a moment or two now as I tried to find more words to tell him to make him feel better, "She meant the world to you, and because of her, you're the same pilot that I know and love today." He finally looked over at me fully, having me see the bags under his eyes and how he looked far away from me, very far away and lost within his own. It made me lean over to kiss him sweetly, feeling him kiss me back and press our lips together in almost a sleepy manner.

We would do this, every once in awhile with each other. When one was on some kind of cliff, or feeling more lost than anything, the other would grab the hand and pull them back. He would do that to me with my own demons of my abandoned parents. and now it was my turn to bring him back to me since he was lost in the thoughts of his mother. We both had a taste of the consequences of guilt. of sadness, of depression, and we held each other accountable for the times when we would loose our way.

"Lay down with me," I whispered against his lips, the both of us falling back into the bed again and I was pressed behind him, feeling take both of my hands on his own as I could tell he was trying to fall sleep again. Nightmares were hard to forget and try to reset within the mind, I knew that for certain. I pressed one more kiss to the back of his neck as we were laying there in silence again.

"Try to think of something else," I whispered to him.

"Like what?"

"Like how much you love to fly, BB-8 ever leaving your side," I answered him, hearing him chuckle a bit.

"I could always think of you," He replied in a gruffer tone, having me snuggle into him a bit more,

"Don't do that." I pressed to him, "Who would want to think of me?"

"I would," He said without missing a beat, "Every single day." I grinned at him as he presses his lips to our joined hands there in front of him.

"I would think of you too if that helps."

* * *

 **Present Day**

Planet D'Qar

"So what's our plan?" Poe and I were looking at the schematic of Starkiller Base, and after having almost another fight with Poe about my own well being and if I was well enough to go out on his mission, he caved and he was letting my fly out with him and the other pilots.

"We are looking to take out this oscillator, found here," Poe explained to me now as he was pointing to the one object there along the side of the base, "This oscillator contains the power that the Superweapon needs to destroy any planets or systems, including our own that is the next target."

"It sounds very simple," I said to him in almost a warning, watching him then point to the outer area of Starkiller Base.

"There's a shield around the base, and Finn and Han Solo are going to go to the planet and take out the shields so we can go in and take out the oscillator," He warned me as he then looked over at me, "Finn used to work on the planet there."

"The stormtrooper that helped you escape?" I asked to make sure that was correct.

"Yeah," He answered, having me grin at him since I could tell he would light up a bit on his face when he mentioned the stormtrooper turned resistance fighter. I even eyed him up and down now, seeing that he was wearing another set of his casual clothes. But once again, he was without his jacket. I knew why now, and it was all clicking in my head.

"You gave your jacket to Finn, didn't you?" I asked him, not in a real question but as a curious kind of manner. He grinned at me, almost trying to he hide his smile from me and make it look innocent. He rolled his eyes at me and bit his lower lip, having me chuckle there next to him.

"Technically he took it when we crashed back on Jakku, but I let him keep it," He replied in a casual kind of manner, having me just chuckle at him for how he was talking about it like it was another day at the Resistance base.

"I thought you were going to give it to me, now I'm hurt," I joked at him with a roll of my eyes and me shoving him playfully with my shoulder. He chuckled at my antics with him and shook his head.

"I was going to, but I guess Finn beat you to it."

"Should I be jealous?"

"You might have to be, just a little." I felt him lean into me from my side with his shoulder, the most affection that we were going to show each other for the time being since pilots and officers were walking to and for around the room, having me worry that some of them were going to look at us in the wrong way and get some questions popped into their heads. I wanted to focus, to keep my mind in check and make sure that we were ready to go out and do our jobs. But standing there for a long time, the aches that I was feeling within my joints and my neck were coming back little by little. I shifted around a bit in my spot next to Poe, trying to make my limbs feel loose instead of feeling stiff and rigid. Poe saw me do this, out of the corner of my eye, I could see him gaze at me and try not to ask me if I'm okay.

"You know what I'm about to ask you…" he trailed off, having me keep my eyes on the Starkiller schematic in front of me.

"And you know what my answer is going to be, don't you?" I asked him in a counter question, seeing him pause as he then placed his hand on my own there on the table, resting it there like a gentle peace offering as I sighed softly.

"Atta, I don't want to lose you," He explained to me shortly, but I could hear the pain there in his tone. I finally looked over at him, seeing him watch me with his careful and protective eyes that he would always use on me for time to time when he thought I was in a bad place, or even when he felt troubled himself. Either way, he was both trying to and not to show that he was afraid for me. I could see that he was drawing his eyes over to where my neck was, to where the bruises were.

"This isn't my first mission that I'm on," I reminded him, seeing him tear his eyes away from the bruises there along my skin and me, "And I don't think it's going to be my last one either,"

"You still went through a bit of a rough patch back there on that planet," Poe reminded me and had me squeezed our joint hands together, hoping that he would feel it down to his very core, "You don't even want to to rest?"

"How can I rest when I know I can some good work with the Resistance and help them in any way that I can?" I asked him back, remaining calm about it. I hated needed to rest, I hated being left behind, it was itching away at me and it almost made me want tor rebel. But since we were going into a huge mission, something that could change everything in how we were going to live, I also had to be careful with what I was going to do.

"Poe, it's going to be okay. More than okay, since this time I'm only going to be in my X-Wing and not down there at the base. If anything, I can be another set of eyes for them to use." I explained, looking back at the schematic again and feeling the stomach falling to the floor in a heap, "The Stars knows we need someone else to keep an eye out on you guys."

"What about Han and Finn?" Poe asked in almost a grave manner now, having me watch him look at the base in front of us too, "Who will watch them?" It made me think too. They were going to go into the base, trying to not be undetected at all, and do missions that seemed simple and complicated at the same time. They would need some kind of back-up, someone with them that was going to be another set of eyes and ears since they were on their own mission. it would be suicidal if they were going to go alone. It made me think. a bad thought really since I knew I was going to be in a world of hurt if this was going to be the case. I finally looked over at Poe, about to open the floodgate.

"I'll go with them."

* * *

"You call that a plan?!" Poe asked me as we were walking out Organa's office and over to the X-Wings, having me give him a glare as the other pilots around us were running around and getting ready for the upcoming mission. Everyone was bustling around left and right, and the two of us were walking over to the Millennium Falcon where I saw Han Solo, his companion Chewbacca, and Finn prepping the vessel.

"It's better than nothing," I replied back in a huff as we were moving along the hanger and getting closer to the vessel itself.

"Well, you being in your X-Wing is better than this!" Poe said in a hiss.

"Be honest you would want me to stay here at the base and just wait for something to happen," I replied, hearing him sigh and roll his eyes from my own antics against him. When we were close enough, I finally turned around and face Poe, seeing the anxiety there within the back of his eyes and how he was really trying to hold it together in front of me, and somehow he was failing at it. He had to get his own mind straight before anything else could really happen, he was leading the missions and for him to be frazzled. He needs to focus and he is not thinking about me and what was going to happen to me. If he did, then he wouldn't be himself anymore.

"I can do this," I reminded him again, almost sounding like a broken record now and it was going to kill me if I had to say it anymore, "You know I can do this, so don't even think about pulling the protective boyfriend card on me. You've seen me in worse conditions, so this is going to be a cakewalk." He watched me as I said this, thinking about it in his head and how he knew I was right. I've had worse licks than bruises on my neck, but he was thinking more than that.

I was thinking more than that, I was thinking about the Jedi and how he was going to be there, and not just that, he was going to try something on me again if he found me. He already cracked into my head once, and who knows if he was going to do that to me again. Was Poe thinking about that? I was betting he was and it was making him want to hold me back and not be touched or bothered.

"If you don't come back, I'll be heartbroken, you know that, right?" He said to me in a low manner now, trying to not sound like it in front of the pilots around us. I grinned, nodding in agreement.

"And I expect to do the same thing with you," I challenged, seeing him nod in agreement. We both were neutral about it, once again holding each other accountable for the fact that we both were going into dangerous waters and we may not get out. It was good, though, to know that we both were still loving each other and holding onto the small glimmer of hope.

We both were in over our heads.


	13. Chapter 13

"This was not what I had in mind when I told her that I could use some help." Han Solo said in a snort as I was standing in front of him, Poe next to me, and Finn right behind Han listening in on the conversation. I was telling him about the plan, how I was going to go with him as a backup and some muscle there, and from the look on his face, he was not too pleased about the idea.

"You don't think I can handle it?" I asked him with almost a tang of hurt in my tone, "I've been a pilot for a good number of years now."

"Compared to me, you're more of an amateur," he said, clearly not liking it at all as he looked away from me and walked over to his vessel without a second thought to it. Poe was about to tell him off when I pressed my hand to his chest to stop him, not wanting him to fight my battle for me. I moved away for Poe now, walking over to Han and seeing Finn watch our conversation with worried and confused eyes as to what was going on. I had to convince Han to let me go on this mission with them, more than convince really.

"You're going to need someone to help with the upgrades that your ships needs," I said to him with more convincing there in my system, Han now looking at me in almost an offensive kind of manner because of how I was explaining it to him.

"What upgrades?" He asked me, placing his hands on his hips.

"Should I tell you on a scale of the damage or alphabetically?" I asked him, almost wanting to give him a smug look on my own face now as I said that to him, almost thinking that I was about to hit him underneath the belt.

"What makes you think I need a mechanic there on my ship when we are about to go to the enemy head on?" Han asked me in a low tone, pointing to his own vessel now without looking and I crossed my arms in front of myself now since it was more like a talking battle with the old war hero than anything.

"Because the side of your vessel is about to fall off as we speak, and unless you want to to split into a thousand pieces going into hyperdrive or loose heat from the oxygen leak, I suggest you let me fix it before you take off," As soon as I said that to him, Han's eyes went wide in horror now as he looked behind himself and seeing the part of the millennium falcon that was a bit on the sky side, seeing that I was right after all. I grinned there, almost a bit too shut for my taste, and he then sighed rubbing his face shaky now as he then looked back at me. I felt like I trapped him, got him right where I wanted and he was going to have to need me, either way.

"I'll fix your ship and be your extra eyes," I reassured him, keeping my ground there now as she scratched the back of his neck and peered his eyes into my own.

"Fine, but if you get in my way, I'll tie you to a chair so you won't be any more trouble," he said, finally, having me smile at him now as he walked away from me and back over to the vessel again, "And if what you say is right, then get to work on the Falcon before we take off so we don't die."

"And I wonder why he's so popular with the others at the Resistance?" Poe asked me out of the blue from behind me, having me look over my shoulder at him and see a confused look on his face. I shrugged my own shoulders, looking in front of me again now as Poe walked over to stand next to me and we both were looking at Finn. He was getting some things ready as Han was talking to General Organa, very closely together as I was thinking of what was going to lie ahead.

"You think Finn will be okay out there?" Poe asked me under his breath since other pilots were talking to each other and walking to and fro on the hanger.

"What makes you think that he can't?" I countered back with him as Finn was now getting into the Millennium Falcon.

"Because I think he's been through enough for one person, especially him," Poe explained in his answer to me, "Even if he wants to help, it would be too much."

"He's more of a Resistance pilot than anything, like someone I know," I said with a small smile, heading nothing from Poe now as I felt him lace our fingers together between us in the silence. I could already feel it coming, the thought of having to say goodbye to him and it was going to kill me and hurt for the both of us.

"What about that Jedi, the one that got to you and me?" Poe asked me in a tentative tone now, having me stay still as we were watching the vessel get ready. It was another thought that was plaguing me lately, the Jedi that got into the both of our heads and tried to break us. WE both experienced it, we both were broken because of it, and yet we were still trekking on with what we had to do, for the good of the Resistance.

"What about him?" I asked Poe, finally looking over at him, seeing the fear there in his eyes and the hesitance that he was once again trying to cover up.

"He's going to be there, and if he knows that you're there…." Poe warned me.

"I'll avoid him, if anything I'll try to steer clear of him," I answered him back before he could think of anything else that could be damaging for him to say out loud.

"But what if you don't?" He asked, having me squeeze our hands together.

"You sound like you don't have enough faith in me," I said to him in my own low tone, finally seeing him look over at me and I stared back. He had to know what I was feeling, how it made me feel a bit hurt that he was trying to protect me all the time when I knew how to get in and out of a situation, how to fight for my own right to be in a place, and let alone be my own person.

"I have faith in you," He said to me finally, having me hear the truth in his voice and how he was looking at me with his eyes. I hated this, and I knew he hated this too. We both were already in each other's ear when it came to being on a mission, we both knew where the other was at all times. But this was different and strange, so I knew where he was coming from. He was about to say something when I leaned over and kissed him right on the cheek before he could do anything else to make this worse for the both of us.

"It's going to be okay," I reminded him in sincerity as we stared at each other one more time. I wanted him to remember that, to know that we still had smoked of hope for each other. It was another reminder of what we were going to have to go through in the resistance, and the very future was hanging in the balance. I saw him give me warmer look on his face then, almost like I made him warmer from that kiss I gave him since I was never the one to kiss out in public. That was Poe's domain, not my own. But now the tables were turned and it was I who was bold.

"Stay safe for me, please?" He asked me under his breath, thinking that the others around the base would hear him. I nodded in return at him, the both of us once again at an understanding.

"Only for you, Poe."

* * *

The Millennium Falcon was big, pretty much bigger and it had too many things for me to see and want to tamper with along the inside of the vessel as we were spending off to go to StarKiller Base. I was walking through the hallway and seeing all of the workings of the ship there, almost wanting to place my fingers against the walls as I was finding myself walking over to the cockpit. I was anticipating with what was coming ahead and what we were going to face, let alone my own roll with the mission. I was still wondering if they were going to let me shoot, or even just sitting there at the Falcon while they were going to go off. Everything looked both outdated and out of place there, but then again it was almost looking good all together. The wires that were sticking out in certain places, the odd color of the walls, and even the sitting arrangement of the common room with the table and the wrap around bench there.

It was all coming to me now, how I was going to be a part of this visas mission that could end the First Order if we did it right. The thought of it all, all that I went through and overcame to get into this moment. I had to pause there in the hallway, rethinking all that I went through to get to that point. First, it was being a mechanic with the Resistance and helping out the repairs, but from there it was unfolding and blossoming into something that was bigger than what I was expecting it to be. Being a pilot with the Resistance and moving up within the ranks there, and it all came from taking a risk and getting out from my home when I needed to. My grandfather might have been the reason to push me out the door and for me to find my own kind of life, or maybe it was my thoughts that made me want to leave and find my own purpose. But to get to this point, to be part of this kind of mission that was more serious than the other before, and knowing that it all started with the map within my own implant.

That was still bizarre.

BB-8 was the one who did it, having me see the map there were flashes of images. He chose me to see something like that, to have that kind of repressibility that could change everything for the resistance for good. But why me? Did he trust me enough? Was I too kind of him to overlook and for him not to really consider? What was so special about me anyhow? I was good at fixing things, had a knack for thinking on my feet, but it didn't feel good enough for me to be a part of. I still felt small in this whole situation, small and not good enough.

But then again, I thought of my grandfather.

"Hey," I was brought back to the current time frame when someone called out to me, having me look away from my spot that I was staring at on the other side of the common room that I was standing in. Finn was watching me, standing a bit away from me with thoughts. He looked a bit out of place there, still wearing Poe's jacket and I breathed out finally, "Han wanted to check if you were breaking something back here on his ship." I had to smile at how he said it, making it sound so sincere and yet innocent at the same time since we never really properly introduced each other than through Poe back at the Base, and we still were talking about the missions and nothing else was really important at that point.

"I don't think he trusts me on his ship," I voiced to him in an admittance.

"I don't he would trust anyone," he replied back to me now as I grinned back at him, seeing him truffle up the jacket a bit, my own eyes going over to the jacket to and remembering all the times Poe would wear that jacket himself. Whenever he would be coming to and from missions, or just walking around the base with the other pilots in deep conversations. One of my favorite memories was with him giving me his jacket to wear, when the base was pretty cold and we were watching the stars on top of aerobes hanger of, I loved wearing it, feeling how it was already molded to his body and I felt so little within it, yet I had muscles there too. The jacket was familiar, very familiar that I would think about and bring me happens and a smile. It was almost making me miss Poe a bit more since we weren't together, and he was waiting behind with the rest of the pilots for the signal.

"I'm Finn, by the way," He said to me, having me hear him say his name like he was confident about it more than anything as if he adapted to it. Poe told me about him as he stormtrooper, how he stopped that life and wanted to help fight against the First Order, which was something I never thought I would see in my own lifetime. I smiled at him, seeing him tilt his head at me now as he then talked some more, "I remember you….I think I do…back at Jakku and you were there."

"It was you," I said to him finally, pointing to him now as he stopped talking and my eyes going a bit wide now, "You were the one who knocked me out and shot me in the leg," I remembered all of it, once again having it play in my head and making me think that I was reliving it over now. As soon as Is aid that, I saw his face going a bit pale now from it and it made me think that I caught him and he was going to feel terrible about it, and I could see it in his eyes and how he was now standing there in a rigid stance.

"I'm sorry about that, I was…I was just following orders and I knew what I was doing was wrong…" he trailed off, not knowing what else to say to me, but I held up my hand for him to go quiet.

"But you didn't kill me," I reminded him, seeing him go real quiet when I bought that up, "Stormtroopers are meant to kill, and you didn't…..why didn't you?" I asked him in more curiosity than in anger or in agitation since it was something that I never thought a stormtrooper would experience let alone do: show mercy. They were only meant to follow orders, nothing more or less about it. But for him to not only spare me and let me live but for him to do the same with Poe and to get him out of the clutches of the First Order, it meant that he was different from the mold, that he was meant for more than just following orders.

"I thought it was the right thing to do….not to kill you," He replied back to him in his careful and sincere voice, having me really see that he was telling the truth. I could see it in his body language, how he was keeping his eyes right at me and not looking at different places, his stance was very still and not fighting about. He was telling the truth, through and through.

"Thank you," I said to him in a simple request, seeing his eyes go wide a bit in shock now from what I told him there. I sounded so kind about it, and it might have thrown him for a loop since he would think I would be angry with him for shooting at me in the leg and leaving me there in the die.

"For what?" he asked, still not understanding what I was saying to him, and the smirk was there on my face.

"For doing the right thing," I let it hang up there in the air now as we were staring at each other, Finn letting it wash over him now as we then heard someone calling out from the cockpit and we both looked over.

"Heads up, you two! We're getting close, come on!" We both started to walk over to the cockpit, almost like we were leaving the conversation behind now as we were getting closer to our main goal. We owed our way back over to Hand and his second in command. They both were watching the outside space that we were zooming through and I was still a bit in the back with Finn.

"You guys ready?" He asked the both of us, Finn nodding without a second thought to it, but I was still on the fence about it. At first, I wanted to help ten fold and be there every step of the way since I knew I could really bring the help that they needed, but now that it was real and it was coming so close, I was now having a second wave of second thoughts. There was really no turning back at this point. I finally found my voice again.

"I'm ready."


	14. Chapter 14

"That wasn't a landing at all!" I walked out of the Millennium Falcon in a huff now as Finn, Chewbacca and Han Solo were right behind me, hearing nothing from any of them now as we were now in Starkiller Base. I was a bit furious about the landing, since apparently landing the vessel on the Base without being seen meant that we had to come in through hyperspace. It was suicidal, it was beyond dumb, and yet we survived the landing. Barely.

Still, I was furious.

"What would you call it then?" Han asked me as we were outside in the open, which was beyond cold and snowing all around us in the winter fortress of the base. I wrapped my arms around myself now as I looked back at Han now as he was giving me agitated look, once again.

"I would call it: the idiot's attempt at a landing," I replied to him in a bark as Finn walked over to me to place his hand on my shoulder to stop me from saying anything else to Han. I gave Finn a look, seeing him just give me that kind of look to just go with the flow and nothing more to it. I gave in, all four of us looking out in the distance.

"I'll grab some coats," Han said tot he group of us as he was about to head back into the vessel. Finn and I both looked over at him at the same time.

"We don't need jackets," We both said it at the same time, seeing Han roll his eyes and go back to the Falcon anyhow. I hated that cold, it was already bothering me and making em try to rearrange the implant in my ear now as Finn was huffing bit next to me.

"You think we'll have heavy fire against us?" Finn asked me in a sudden burst, having me now look at him in confusion.

"Don't you?" I asked back.

"Probably. But are you…prepared for something like that?" He asked now almost sheepishly, having me just give him a small smirk there on my face because of how silly it sounded and how simple of an answer that I was going to give him.

"I've been fighting against the First Order for a good amount of years," I explained to him, shuffling a bit in my own flight jacket there and motioned my head over to where the Millennium Falcon was sitting in the snow, "This was no different from any other time that I've helped with the Resistance, expect I'm not in my X-Wing."

"You prefer an X-Wing?"

"No, I can be better with a blaster," I reassured him casually, seeing him eye me again while Chewbacca and Han were talking to each other and Han grabbing a big black bag in his hand, the bag of explosives.

"Let's get going before we lose any more time," Han said to the both of us, having his own blaster out and ready with his huge jacket on around him. He then looked over at me in my direction, "Why don't you stay over in the Falcon, keep an eye on the ship for me and be an extra pair of ears for us if something does come our way," Finn watched me too, having me think about it for a moment or two if this was the better idea for me. I wasn't a huge fighter, I knew that and I had no idea what to do with them while they were going to go in there and shut down the shields, and since I was tagging along with them anyhow, I might as well go along with whatever they want me to do in order to help. Maybe this was such a bad idea for me to go along after all, what was I going to go for them? So I nodded in agreement, and Han could see the reluctance there on my face from what he was offering for me to do and he gave me a short smile there in the cold.

"Those repairs and upgrades on my ship….they're better than any of the ones I've ever done in my life with that thing." I gave him a shocked look, a small smile there on my own face from the compliment.

"Really?" I asked him in wonder.

"Let me be clear: I hardly let any touch her without having to pry her away from my own hands. So…consider yourself lucky. Just keep her intact for me, and we'll have communicators so we can stay in contact with one another," It sounded better than be going in there with no clue as to what was going on, and since he was telling me all of those good things about be and the upgrades that I did on the Millennium Falcon, I felt as though it was better for me to be back here and nowhere near what could be disaster. This might have to be the safe bet for me, the safer one since I felt a bit out of place without my own X-Wing there.

If only I had it there.

* * *

They've been gone or a good hour now, having me wonder what was going on with them and if they were okay. Nothing was coming through on the intercom, and I didn't pick anything up on my own communicator that would be a red flag. So I sat there, in the cockpit and watched out in the front in hopes that no stormtroopers were going to come through the forest and stumble onto a vessel there. It wasn't a particularly small ship there, it was almost like seeing a sore thumb there in the middle of nowhere and thinking that it would be odd to see that there on a First Order base planet of sorts. Great. I was just one person who was partially deaf in one ear and my implant was still carrying the Goddamn map to Luke Skywalker.

This was not a good situation for me to be in.

Something was beeping in the intercom, having me finally snap over to the communicator there in the cockpit in front of me and hit a few buttons o hear what was going to come through.

"Millennium Falcon, come in. This is Black Leader from the Resistance?" It was Poe, I could hear his voice on the other end of the intercom and I panicked a bit, wondering why he was calling us there and if something did go wrong there already before things were going to go on.

"Poe?" I asked, my voice filling the small cockpit now, I looked up at the forest ahead, seeing nothing there and so far we were in the clear. It was still good enough to hear his voice, to know that he was still okay back at the base, it was soothing to my own soul to feed on and rely on.

"Atta, oh thank goodness! I was calling to see if you guys were okay," He said to me in his familiar tone, no longer sounding like a Captain but more like the Poe that I knew. I leaned back a bit in the chair, bringing up my legs to my chest and wrapping my arms around them in almost a fearing kind of stance than anything.

"We're fine. They went off on the mission and Han wanted me to stay behind me a set of eyes from the Falcon," I explained to him, wondering what he was doing at that moment. If I knew him as well as I did, or at least as well as I thought I did, he would sweating bullets and almost biting his nails off. There were times where he was coolant collected, was it that same this time? "Where are you?

"I'm in my X-Wing, flying over with the red and blue squad. They didn't want to take you with them?" He asked in wonder, almost sounding a bit shocked about what I told him, having me grin a bit from how he reacted to me not going out there myself.

"You expected me to go out there with them, guns blazing?" I countered back, hearing nothing on his end like he was thinking about it and I rolled my eyes.

"Maybe," he replied shortly to me, having me wish that I could chuckle there from how he sounded so calm about it, but then Poe went on with his explanation, "General Organa wanted to have a progress report on you, Finn and Han."

"So far so good, nothing too bad to be worried about," I replied back to him, shifting a bit in the chair there and seeing that all was well there on the console and nothing was popping up that should be a red flag. It made me think, that since I haven't heard a single word from either Han or Finn at all about what was going on, that they could be in some kind of trouble, and they weren't going to tell me at all. I had to wonder, let alone become more and more curious as to what they were doing and if they were really okay. I started tapping some buttons there on the console, knowing what to hit in order to get where I wanted to be and hear what I wanted to hear.

"Atta, what are you doing?" Poe asked me of this own intercom there as I was getting through to what I wanted to hear, another set of voices were heard over the interim there in the cockpit, the voices of males there.

"We'll use the charges to blow that blast door. I'll go in and draw fire, but i"m gonna need cover." It was Finn, probably talking to Han there and having me lean over to the intercom a bit more.

"You sure you're up for this?" Han asked him now carefully.

"Hell no — I'll go in and try to find Rey—"

"Are you listening in on their conversation?" Poe asked me on his intercom as I switched off the one from Han and Finn to focus on Poe now, already knowing enough about the other two that would make my own heart and mind sane again.

"I'm keeping an eye on them, as ordered," I said back to Poe as I could see something shifting off in the distance, something that caught my eye and not in the best way.

"Never took you as a mole," He said in almost a smirk now as I saw something shifting again, having me feel a chill down my spine now. I was no longer safe there, and it was going to be crunch time for me to do something.

I was exposed.

"Poe, someone's here," I said to him in a low manner, getting off the chair there and crutch down and not be seen by anyone who was out there and trying to look in to find me. This was not part of the plan, and I hated that it was not part of the plan at all.

"What do you mean?" He asked, having me look behind me to see where I stored that blaster that I brought with me just in case.

"They found the Falcon, and I happen to be in it," I hissed back at him, crawling over to the open door frame that was going to lead over to the hallway, grabbing the blaster there without making a sound. I had to be sneaky in case that someone was already close enough to hear me. From this point out, I had to be out of sight and not let this ship be taken by whoever was out there.

"Get out of sight," Poe said to me in a warning tone, "Don't let them find you,"

"That's what I'm trying to do," I whispered to him, crawling back over to the cockpit once more and putting my finger there on the button that was going to cut me off from Poe, "I have to go, Poe. Get your ass here before I regret calling you my boyfriend."

"I'm not leaving you there for them to take, not while I'm breathing," He said in a vow over the intercom as I got the blaster ready in my good hand."

"Poe," I started with him, "I love you, but you're sounding like a lunatic right now and not like a commander that I know you are. Just get over here," I said to him in a warning, but I kept it light, and I didn't hear anything from his side of the communication for a few moments in which I was wondering what was going on.

"Did you just tell me you loved me?" He asked me, as if we were having this conversation anywhere else but here. I rolled my eyes from how simple it sounded for him, let alone shocked and marveled. I guess it was the first time either one of us confessed that they loved the other, and it had to be at this place. For some reason I thought it would be in better circumstances, the both of us looking at each other with love in each others eyes, not the fact that one of us was flying his black X-Wing and the other was hiding out from what looked like to be stormtroopers within the cockpit of a smugglers' vessel. This was so what I had in mind when it came to dropping that word with him, but it slipped.

I slipped.

"Get over yourself, Dameron," I joked with him, about to release the button myself before he answered me back.

"I love you too," He made it so sincere, so calm and it made me freeze my finger there on the button, I felt like my insides were going red hot and cold at the same time, everything was intensified in my brain then from those three words that were uttered to me like he was saying something so pure there on her tongue and in my heart.

"Get here soon," I said to him calmly, after the moment or so within my own thoughts.

"Be safe for me," He answered back, having em tap the button now and the communication was no longer down for good. This was already giving me something more to fight for, Not that I wasn't driven to fight in the first place, but now it was more intense for me as I rearranged my hold of my blaster in my hand and crawling out of the cockpit and into the hallway, staying low in case someone was going to hear me. The boots were heard going down the walkway and over to the ramp that would lead me outside, and I was still hearing nothing at first. It was scaring me, but then I thought of another idea, a great one.

The cannon blaster.

I made me whirl around and head over to the ladder that would descend towards the cannon blaster that would be hanging at the bottom of the vessel, It was big enough to do some serious damage if I got my hands on it. I crawled down the ladder, step by step, and once I got there I slipped into the seat there, I saw the controls in front of me, along with a new view of the ground outside and the snow still falling. I took in that shaky breath, placing my hands there on the controls and waiting for the right moment to take action.

"Search the ship for anyone inside. Contact Kylo Ren and let him know about the ship," It was a stormtrooper, and apparently he wasn't alone there. I waited, placing my fingers there against the metal and hoping that they were going to come over soon, a little bit by a little, to end this misery for me once and for all. Finally, after a few moments or just sitting there and only hearing the rapid sounds of my heartbeat, I saw a couple of pairs of feet there along the snow and the forest. I shifted again, already knowing that it was going to come and soon.

My time to shoot and stay alive.

"I have a reading—" I was shooting before I could think, hearing them all cry out in wondering what was going on, the cannon was going off and shaking the ship itself now with every blast, but I was getting them one by one before they could even realize what was going on and who was shooting at them. It was getting closer and closer to winning this. I moved the cannon left to right, then right to left, and before I knew it, they were all gone. Every Stormtrooper that was there was no longer alive and a threat to me. I was safe. Sighing, I leaned back in the chair and moved my hands from the controls now, already feeling the beat of sweat there on my forehead and I was rapidly blinking.

"Poe will not believe this."


	15. Chapter 15

"Han….Finn….where are you?" I muttered to myself as I got up through the ladder and back in the hallway again, thinking back to when I heard them last talking to each other about some kind of assault that was going to take place. The worry was back there within my system now as I was jogging to head back over to the cockpit after my newest assault on the slew of Stormtroopers that were outside the Falcon. This was not what we had in mind when it came to coming here and fulfilling the mission: at least I didn't have this in mind. So it might be my fault now, not seeing them sooner. Then again, I got all of them out of the way but did they tell anyone that the Falcon was here.

And that we were here?

I needed to heck in on them once more, in case, they really were in trouble. Once I reach the cockpit, I slid right back onto the first seat there and touched the same button that I used before, hearing nothing at first but then Han's voice came through over the intercom once again. Nothing was heard from Finn, which made me a bit concerned, but Han was as clear as day.

"We'll set them at ever another column." Han said to someone else, having me then hear Chewbacca talk about to him, almost like they were trying to agree on something.

"You're right. That's a better idea. You take the top, I'll go down below. Detonator, we'll meet back here." I turned it off, finally hearing that they were still moving on with the plan that was going on. It was a relief to me, leaning back in the chair and rubbing my eyes with my fingers in a sigh of peace. As soon as they were done with that, then we could be able to go home. I just wanted to get out of there. already having that sick feeling in my stomach that something could still go wrong without anyone of us realizing it or being ready for it.

But that only lasted for a few seconds.

I could see through the window some more stormtroopers coming over, all of whom had their guns out and loaded. It made me panic, thinking that I had to do something else other than using my cannon there on the button of the ship since there were more numbers that I anticipated on using with one gun. This time, I had to be creative, real creative at least. I moved out of the cockpit again, still holding my own blaster there within my hand and running over to the hallway where the ramp was that was going to lead me outside. My heart was once again beating faster than normal, and it made me stop near the button that would lower the ramp and open the outside world for all to see within. I had to think, and I had to think fast since I could tell they were trying to find a way inside the Falcon.

The element of surprise can do the trick.

I looked around, seeing nothing at first that could help me, and that was going to be my downfall if I had no real plan to get out of there. Was I even safe there in the Falcon anymore if more and more stormtroopers were going to come my way and look for something in their favor? They would find one petrified mechanic who was hearing impaired and one blaster there in her arsenal. She was screwed.

Unless…

 _Think Atta, think on your feet. What would you do?_ I thought to myself now as she was looking around once again at the things around her in the hallway of the Falcon. There were wide pipes were along the wall, those pipes had to have some kind of oxygen and gas there that could be useful for her in and working in her favor. If she could blind them for at least one moment to give herself some kind of time for her to run as fast as she could in order to at least get out of there. I walked over to one of the pipes there, reading the label there on the side and seeing that it was enough of a fume for me to use against those that were out there. Of course, when Han finds out that I cut one of his main lines of fumes, he wouldn't want me anywhere near the Falcon again, or ever, But then again, I was worried about my own well-being and what was going to happen to me. So, sorry Han, but I wanted to live. Grabbing my backpack that was propped on the floor there, I reached in a grabbed my one tool that I knew would pierce the pipe without any hesitation to it, twirling it in my hand and already having the plan set in stone in my brain there.

I tapped the ramp button to have it go down, the blustery cold winds came into the hallway like a rush now as I moved out of the side and out of the line of sight there, counting one again in my head and knowing that every second was going to count. Poe did want me out of sight, and I was doing to fulfill it, preferably and mostly on my side. But he didn't say anything about me going quietly.

Like that was going to happen.

"Check the vessel, report for Kylo Ren that we found the Millennium Falcon." A stormtrooper explained as they were walking over to get onto the ramp and then move into the Falcon. I could hear their footsteps, most of them together now as I placed my hand there on the pipe, my other hand holding the tool there and waiting for the right moment to strike the pipe. They were doing closer and closer, my feet feeling heavy from the fear of them finding me and then me having to flee. I had to be quick, just like before, and not be hesitant about it.

The first Stormtrooper stepped into the hallway, not seeing me since he was scanning the area and I was crutches right behind him and staying so quiet. He said nothing else either, but his blaster was out and ready as another stormtrooper was stepping into the hallway right behind him. But now it was the time to strike, at least, to get out of there in one piece. Finally, I threw the tool against the metal there and hearing the crack in the pipe. It was booming, the hissing of the gas and smoke filling the room within seconds now as the Stormtroopers were finally looking around to see what was going on. It was too late on their part, the smoke the filling the room to the point of not being able to see anything as I crouched down low and snuck around the both of them and down the ramp before they could even see where I was. The first part of the plan was all down now, and it was all about getting farther away from the area without being hit or caught.

Once I finally got out of the Falcon, seeing about three more stormtroopers there and they locked eyes on me, shooting at me, however, I was quick on my own feet. I dodged to the side, divided a bit over to where the ramp was and shooting at one at the same time before getting behind the ramp, leaning over to the side and shooting at the other two before they could even react themselves. Once the last one fell to the floor without the willpower to fight it, I finally was able to breathe and get up from hiding.

I was out in the open, the cold hitting my face all over and my body almost going rigid from the temperature, I saw the smoke escaping the vessel and flying into the air now. It was getting darker outside, having me wonder where all the light went since when we landed it was still light out. But now it was dimmer, almost like the light was slipping away and it made me wonder where the sun was and if my own mind was playing tricks on me.

Another round of sounds were heard, the whipping of the wind was was going past my ears, the crackling of the trees from the wind pushing them to and for, and then the sounds of TIE fighters and X-Wings flying and shooting each other in the air. It made me panic, thinking that my friends and fellow pilots were up there, fighting to end all of this and being the terror to an end. And here I was, standing there in the first with nothing else there to contribute for them. I felt useless there on the ground, without my own X-Wing, without my own set of skills there since everyone else was occupied. It made me feel so little there, once again like the plenty of times where I felt small and insignificant competed to the others that were running around in the world and in the galaxy.

Finally, after snapping out of my own thoughts and my own self-pity, I decided that I had to get somewhere else that was not there, not out in the open and not in the Falcon anymore. It was too risky now since more and more stormtroopers were getting killed there and it was going to to raise some more eyebrows about what was going on. This was not a good look for me, and the more I moved into the forest and away from the openness of the battle that was taking place in the air, the more I felt out of place and lost since I had no idea where I was going. I was only thinking of myself and what was going to happen to me and my own wellbeing, which might have been a stupid thing on my part since I was shivering in my own jacket and my heart was still beating erratically. I can't have some kind of panic attack, not right now. I had to be rational, I had to think.

Something caught me, though, having me freeze there within my spot and not move.

It was like I was caught in some kind of force field of a shield, having me immediately be afraid of what was going on with my body and why I couldn't move, not even if I tried. I was trying, attempting to move my arms and legs that were stuck against my body like it was some kind of glue. But no avail, something was going on with me that was making it impossible for me to escape. My own blaster fell from my fingers since they couldn't work either, the fact that I was still standing so still and acting like a statue was scaring me now. What was going on? Who was doing this? At first, I had no clue, my mind going to too many possibilities, but then I realized what was going on.

It was a Jedi trick. That Jedi.

I heard it in my head, something was shooting to and fro in my head like someone was rearranging my thoughts there without me giving them permissions. it was haunting and uncomfortable at the same time, not to mention almost painful as I heard a voice there in my head that scared me, the familiar deafening voice that gave me chills just thinking about it.

"The pilot that tried to kill me."

Everything was now black again.

* * *

"They don't want me! They never wanted me!" I was screaming on the floor now with my hands over my face to cover my ears as my grandfather was trying to calm me down once again from another tantrum that was coming over me. I was not having ti thought, thinking of my parents again and how much they hated me and my 6-year-old body. It was still raw, digging under my skin and making me think of the worst when it came to me. It was such a pain that I was feeling, seeping into me and over me like I was drowning and not being able to breathe.

"You need to calm down, child." My grandfather said to me now as he was rubbing my hair with his fingers and the tears were still coming down to hit my face and my cheeks, my breathing was erratic and out of place now as the images of my parents leaving on that ship were still haunting me. But now it was just my grandfather and me, the both of us on another planet and there was nothing else I could really do about it.

"There now, there you go. Now you listen to me, child. I would never do that to you."

I shot my eye open in a panic since that latest nightmare was one that I haven't had in a long time. It was raw, it was real and it was playing in my head almost like it was taunting me there, wherever I was. I wanted to shoot up and rub my eyes, to at least find some sense there from what I was feeling, but my arms were strapped down. I looked down, seeing that my legs were in the same predicament as well. I was horizontally on a table, strapped down by the arms and legs, and I was in a small room somewhere. It was cold, no color was seen, and it felt eerie there within that room, and I was still not able to move now as I was sweating and feeling like I was about to die, wherever I was. I tried to move my wrists and ankles, but they weren't giving in any amount of movement that I was doing.

Where was I?

"I didn't think that memory would shake you awake." The voice again, but, this time, it was close, right in front of me near the darkness there that was hidden in the shadows, about 4 feet away from me now as I was there in the only source of light there. I was struggling again with the restraints, just for the fact that it was going to give me some kind of hope that I could get out of there, or wherever I was. But then he stepped into the light, having me finally see who it was and remember, back on that planet after I talked with Maz and discovered BB-8.

The Jedi there. He must be Kylo Ren.

This time, he wasn't wearing that mask, I saw all of his face. It was a youthful face, but I saw the pain and the darkness there behind his eyes and how he was looking at me with pure curiosity and intrigue there. His hair was dark and smooth back, but something was off about his face. He looked fatigued, almost out of breath there and something else was on his face. He was marked, like something marked him up and left him with a memory forever that he was not happy about. he looked evil, I saw it all over his face and the black attire that he was wearing, he was pure evil.

"Do you remember me?" He asked me, sounding so calm about it but I could still hear a bit of a bite to it as he asked me that, his hands folded behind his back and standing so still that it was scaring me that he could snap at any moment from how cool he was with me being strapped down in front of him.

"Yes," I replied, not wanting to say anything more to him now as he cocked his eyebrow at me now, interesting in how I was reacting to him.

"I remember you clearly, the pilot who tried to shoot me without a second thought, " He explained to me as he was slowly walking over to stand at my side now, his walking was slow and smooth, yet when he was walking I was noticing something in his step. He was walking in a rigid way, like he was wounded or something was hindering him from walking properly. I said nothing, but I was making it a note in my head that he was off about something. Very off.

"You have something that I need, something that could change the course of the First Order and what we need," He explained to me as he finally stopped next to me new my head, looking down at him with a cock his head and his lips having a thing straight line there, showing me that he meant business and nothing more. I was going to be in a world of hurt since at first I had no idea what he was talking about. What would I have that he would want that would be far more important to the First Order? I had nothing of no real value, but once he mentioned it, I knew I was in deep trouble.

"The map to Skywalker. I know you have it."

I said nothing as he said this, trying to make myself seem calm about it than anything. He sounded a bit desperate in how he said it, having me wonder if he was lost about it for so long and now he was about tog et what he wanted, not wanting me to lead him now until he was going to give me the map. But should I tell him hat it was in my implant? Did he even know about that part of it now as he then looked over near my ear, something catching his eye now and having me freeze? What did he find there? I couldn't move away from him now as he was reaching over with his fingers, now touching my ear there and my implant.

My implant!

He grabbed it, having me freeze in horror now as he was holding it within his gloved fingers now as if it was nothing to him, too small and insignificant there. I wanted to break free from the restraints and take it from him since it was the only thing in this whole life that I had that I would never want to part with, it was all from my past and present and future. But now he had it within his fingers, and with just enough pressure, he destroyed it. I watched with wide eyes as the implant and its remains fell to the floor in pieces and in a heap.

I was now utterly broken from the inside out.


	16. Epilogue

All I wanted to do was to die at that point.

Every memory was brought back to me, the ones that I tried to bury and the ones I thought were long forgotten. The ones that were mere thin scars along my past thoughts, and the ones that were still too raw for me to to even digest and consume. It was all too much, and it was flooding me from every point and direction that I could even think about.

I wanted it to stop.

He was giving me every memory, both the good and the bad ones, in order to have me talk and tell me where the map would lead. I knew he was doing this on purpose, he was trying to break me and make me feel less of a person. He already did that when he broke my cholera implant, the one piece of my life that I would never want to lose or break. he broke it like it was a leaf within his own fingers, the crackling and the destruction of my life line was a mere toy to him now as he was working on my brain to grab all that he could. It was more than what I bargained for when this happened, way more, and all I wanted was it to stop once and for all.

But he wasn't going to stop.

"Such a shame, to come from a planet that never wanted you." He would toy with me from time to time while he was bringing back the memories inside of my brain, trying to find that one weak spot that would be the one thing that would tear me apart and get em to talk about what he wanted to hear. This was too much, and it was eating me alive from all that he would say to me. He was going deep, too deep, too personal for me. I was seeing all of those images of my childhood, me looking at the stars and wondering when they would return, all of the guilt and shame that would follow me from people calling me a freak or a cripple. He was bringing it back to me in order to make me talk, and there were plenty of times in which I wanted to talk and give in, to make it all stop.

Something was holding me back to do it, something was stopping me.

It felt like some kind of pull that was trying to comfort me and make me feel a sense of peace, a force of some kind of strength and fierceness that was always stopping em from just opening my mouth and letting him hear what he wanted to hear. It was keeping me going, for some odd reason, it was making me keep my stamina there from breaking. I didn't know what it was, nor did I want it to go away, but it was still keeping me alive and still keeping me strong there. I tried to find out what it was, but when I tried to, another memory was brought up that was breaking me down all over again.

The last one that he showed me, was of Poe and me.

"You think he loves you, all of you, but I doubt it. Who would ever love someone like you," it was a lower jab, almost like he was getting me so close to the heart that he wrapped his won fingers around it to crush it down. He saw the doubts I had in the past, all of the second thoughts and glances about Poe when we first met as friends and then got together as a couple. It was all laid out in front of him, having him pick which ones to use against me and throw it at my face the fold. I saw Poe in my head, the Jedi was bringing it back all in front of me like he was trying to place the knife into my side ten times more. He was twisting the knife now, making it harder for me to breathe now as I saw every moment I had with Poe, every fight that we did have together and every kiss. He wanted this to happen.

"I'll take it all away from you if you don't tell me what I want to hear. Where does the map lead?" He asked me calmly now, seeing the effect that the memories of Poe were having on me. He was trying to make me feel worse as if life was no longer living, At east, that's what it felt like to me.

"Would it be safe to say that I"ll go and kill him, kill the one person you love, in order for you to tell me what I want to hear?" I could feel it again, the strong pull of something that was trying to keep me alive. It was calming me, reminding me that I was still alive and nothing was going to kill me yet. A part of me wanted to die, to let it all be done and over with in order for me to no longer play these mind tricks. Yet, on the other hand, another part of me was telling me to hold on, to not say anything, to look towards a sense of light that was going to come at any moment. I didn't know what I wanted anymore, my mind was going black and blank from the lack of light there and the lack of energy.

I could die at any moment.

* * *

I remember still being strapped in for hours and hours on end, alone in that room with nothing or no one to talk to. It was deadly quiet, leaving me with the voices in my head and all of those tainted images that he tried to take away from me. He was in my head, that voice that was threatening and demanding, toying with me and playing with me like I was his own toy to use and abuse. It was getting under my skin, beneath my eyes, and on my tongue. I hated it, I wanted it out of my system, and yet he was never going to leave me there. It was like he made a permanent place waiting for my own mind and he was not going to think about leaving anytime soon. This was what it meant to be robbed and abused, to be stained and never brought back to the light. I thought I was going to die at any moment there on that table, wherever I was on some distant planet that was not going to let me go.

Was this what my parents thought of for me?

They were the root of al that happened to me, they were the ones who didn't want me. They never thought about taking me in, with all that would come with me and the obstacles that would have to happen, and they opted to leave me behind with my grandfather and not even think about the possibilities of what I could do with my life. It was a sickening thought, and this Jedi wanted it to be even sicker and more real for me to digest and think about. I would think about what they would look like since I could barely remember, how long my mother's hair would look and the color eyes that my father would have. I've always thought of that, first before the shame and the hate that I wanted to have against them and towards them. This Jedi wanted me to hate, to despise them and to be angry with them. He wanted me to feel some kind of pain, some kind of anguish that only a person, not even a person, a being that preys on the evil in the world, would want. He wanted that for me because I would not comply with him.

Maybe he will get what he wanted and what he bargained for.

 _Atta…..Atta…_

A voice was in my head, a voice I never heard before that was both soothing and almost too far off and away for me to identify. It sounded peaceful like I could trust that voice and not be afraid of it, but then again, I've never heard that voice before. It wasn't a familiar voice, like the voice of my grandfather or someone at the base whom I was close to. It wasn't Novak, or Snap, or even General Organa.

It was a different voice.

 _Hold on Atta….they're coming for you…._

Who was coming for me? Why was I hearing a voice that I didn't know or recognize? What was going on? I was too weak or tired or even broken to consider trying to get out myself, let alone ask those questions over and over again. I wanted to get up, I wanted to find the willpower to get up, but nothing was happening to me when it came to my strength. I was still so helpless there on that table, feeling like I was sinking further and further within myself and into death. At least, I was feeling death right there in front of me.

I was just going to let it in.

* * *

I woke up to someone talking, still muffled and far away from me to hear now as I was coming back to reality, dead asleep from the exhaustion of what I went through. My head was feeling heavy and hay, my limbs were mere noodles and my energy was drained down to the very ends of what I taught I had before. Everything within me was shut down, and I had no idea how long I was in that room strapped down on that table, but it might have been long enough. Nothing else was floating through my mind, only the past images that I was going through and saw within my own mind. All I wanted was for it to be over, to not feel this anymore.

Someone was coming into the room, I could hear it from my good ear, but my own vision was dozing in and out now with the wave and after wave of sadness and depression that was coming over me. The voice sounded rushed, urgent, nothing like the Jedi who was talking to me earlier with a sinister way and venom on his tongue. I could feel hands on my wrists and ankles, moving the restraints out of the way now as then a pair of hands were touching caressing my face, to bring me back to the land of the living when I thought I was dead. I blinked, my vision was blurry now as someone was looking right at me to have me see who it was. I was amazed at who I was seeing, thinking that this was another sick dream that was taking over me now.

Poe, right in front of me.

"Atta, can you hear me….Atta?" he asked in a broken tone, almost like he was about to be in tears from what he was seeing in front of him. I could feel his hands on my face, touching my skin and almost trying to revive me. He sounded real, he looked so real now as I was limp like a noddle without the restraints on my arms and legs now. He wrapped his arm underneath my back, holding me up from the waist up as he was looking at me up and down now with his eyes that looked so broken and out of place. I wanted to reach up and touch him, to see if he was real and this was actually happening, but my strength was still too weak

"I'm getting you out of here, I promise," He reassured me now, a vow was heard in his tone as he pressed his lips to my skin there near my eyes, using his other arm to go under my legs and cradle me towards his chest, bridal style. My head was against his chest, hearing his rapidly beating heart with my good ear now as he was holding me close, too protectively now and we were moving out of the room. He maundered the both of us as we were moving out for me to see the table that I was strapped to. I looked with my eyes, that were still blurry a bit, but good enough to notice the blood there on the restraints that I was in mere seconds there. Blood stained there to show what happened to me.

What else happened to me?

Poe was moving fast into some kind of corridor, still holding me close to him and walking in such a manner that it was like he was trying to get out of there within seconds without harming me too much. I heard nothing at first as we moved, only his heartbeat through his worn shirt that I knew and loved from time to time in the past, my limbs were now aching from the rapid movement they were receiving after being still for so long, it was almost too painful for me to go through with every step that he was taking.

"Hang on Atta, please hang on. Don't do this to me, not now," He said to me in a huff as we were still walking. I wanted to tell him to just let me die, from all that the Jedi put be through, unlocking all of my shame and pain and anger for me to sink in and be murdered in, I wanted nothing more for it to stop and end me. I didn't want to be those images in my head, I didn't want to hear the voices anymore. I didn't want the pain, I never wanted it. How could someone like that do something like this to me and think of nothing else but his own gain? Was he so desperate for the map to let this happen to me, to do this to me?

Did he succeed?

"What happened to her?" I heard another voice from somewhere else as I was dozing in and out, feeling that we were outside now and the wind was picking up around me and making me shiver, almost cuddling into Poe some more as he was cradling me close to him. I tried to look around at where we were and what was going on, but I was still out of it and not able to even move my head from Poe's chest.

"I found her like this, we need to get her to medical and fast," Poe said to the other person, whom I knew the voice so well. It made me want to smile if I could: Novak.

"Come on, I'll help you," he said to Poe now as we were moving some more with the wind picking up.

"Where's Rey and Skywalker?" Poe asked him, still huffing a bit while he was holding me close to him and I could hear an engine off in the distance.

"They're back on the Falcon, waiting for us. Skywalker wants to look at her and make sure she's alright." Novak explained as I could hear the roar of the engines of some kind of vessel getting louder and louder, having me blink a few time and look up towards the sky that looked sinister and dark. I didn't know where we were, what kind of planet this was if we ever were on a planet, and how long I was there. But they were rescuing me, I was safe again.

If only I believed it.

"Place her here," I was then lowered to some kind of bunk within the vessel, the Millennium Falcon. I remembered this ship, I knew about this ship from what seemed like long ago now as I was once again laid onto something horizontal. Without even realizing it, my body curled into itself, my knees coming into my best and my hands were resting out in front of me on the space that was left. The florescent lights were making me squint a bit and want to coil back within myself. My eyes and mind so used to the dark now that this was almost hurting me now as Poe placed his hand on my head to touch me there, almost making me squint from feeling him touch a certain area and he pulled away within a jolt.

"She has a head wound, looks a bit too deep for a simple wrap up," Novak said from near Poe, whom I looked eyes with while someone else was coming over from my blurry vision. Poe looked wounded himself, in his eyes he looked beyond hurt like he was watching a person he loved die in front of him. Was I dying? It looked like it from how he was watching me, almost on the brink of tears there as he was still staying close enough for me to feel a hint of safeness. But it was still too much, seeing those images of the past and the thoughts of the pain from my childhood.

"Let me see her," That voice, the same voice in my head that I heard hours, if not days before when I was back there in that room. It was the voice that told me to hold on and not give up, the voice that was trying to soothe and calm me in my thoughts of death. The people were that were watching em moved out of the way now as someone else was back in my vision, standing over me now and having me blink one or twice to see who it was. He crouched down lower to see face to face with me, having me gasp and loose my own breath again.

Luke Skywalker.

He placed his hand there along my forehead and closed his eyes, having me wonder what he was doing, But I could already feel my breathing was coming to a normal pace, almost like hew as making it happen and having some kind of hold on me now. I felt a sense of peace washing over me, wave after wave now like it was a rhythm of a heartbeat, slowly making the nightmares and the pain melting away with every beat. I was floating, no longer sinking and no longer feeling the fear, and he was doing this from a simple touch on my head. I could feel my own head getting heavy now, my eyes getting heavy and me wanting to sleep and have the peace melt everything else away. But I was afraid to, thinking that I would see my parents again and their hate towards me.

"He's tapped into her mind, torturing her beyond normal repair," He said in a soft tone as my eyes were slowly closing now but I could still hear him and the others talking, drifting in and out of consciousness.

"What can we do?" Poe's voice filled my head in a soothing manner, hearing the desperation in his tone now as he asked Luke this.

"All we can do is let her rest, rest and wait. The rest if up for her to do."

"What do you mean?"

"She has a pull towards the Force. It's no wonder she's lasted this long from his use of the Force on her. If she wasn't Force Sensitive, she would have died long ago. But she held on, she's stronger than I thought."

Once again, I was out cold.

* * *

 _One Month Later_

I sat there on top of a hill, looking out into the base there from up top and being away from the others. I breathed in the cool crisp air of the late morning as the wind was picking up, making my hair that was growing longer now float there in the air. Breathing in and out through my nose was enough for me to find the peace that I needed, but it was still not enough.

It hasn't been enough.

Since I was brought back to the base, I was plagued by what the Jedi did to me. Luke Skywalker, after coming out from being alone and away from the rest of the galaxy, somehow found me compared to the others that were looking for me. Apparently, after the destruction of Starkiller Base, the Resistance was looking for me. Poe was leading the charge, of course, he was, and they had no real lead as to where Kylo Ren and the rest of the First Order took me since they fled their previous home. They didn't know where I was and if I was still alive, but Luke was the one who found me after Rey bought him to D'Qar. he found me through the use of the Force, reaching out with his own mind to find me, and one he did, they sent three squads and the Falcon to get me.

Things were changing around the base now, since the death of Han Solo and the new arrival of Rey that would be helping out with the Resistance as much as she could. The shift at the Resistance, because of our victory, was lightening the mood and benign more hope to the masses and the pilots there. I should be happy, and I wanted to be happy, but it was of no avail.

Since then, it's been a waiting game for me to snap back to my old self and come back to the terms of my old life as a pilot and mechanic. But it wasn't the case. Luke explained it to General Organa, his twin sister, that it would take a long time before I can be my normal self again. The damage done to me would be too much for any other normal person, and for the fact that I have resisted it for as long as I did, was a miracle in itself. However, I was still damaged and still too moved from all that I saw and felt, that he felt as though me needing some air and isolation from time to time was enough for me.

He needed me to repair myself.

They gave me a new cohlear implant when I came in to rest, and when I woke up after being asleep for long hours into the night, one of the doctors there at the base came in to show me the new device that he made for me. It was slimmer, almost half the size of the old one that I had with a new chrome finish and slimmer design. Still, it did the job well, beyond well compared to my old one, having me hear things more clearer. It was not only that, but still a computer and had a communicator there within the device, like my old one. When I got to wear it and test it, it was like I had no hearing diasbility in that ear, everything was perfect when it came to me hearing. If only that feeling would last for me.

The one way I could try to be normal was to come to the top of the hill and breathe in the deep cool winds and the grass underneath me, hopefully making em remember of all that happened to me before I was taken. I felt utterly broken, beyond broken since it was hard enough to just walk from one place to another without remembering and having a nervous breakdown. It was almost embarrassing, seeing me in tears from the past pain and those thoughts that would pop back into my head. It would consume me from time to time, being back in that place and seeing Kylo Ren look at me like I was about to be part of his sick game.

It felt like he won.

Poe was nothing but supportive of me, giving me space when I asked for it, and when I didn't he would give me space too. He could tell from just looking at me and seeing what I was doing that day. But other times he wouldn't let me go, holding me close when we were in his living quarters as I was trying to sleep or just trying to breathe from another panic attack Some nights were of us gasping for air and crying from the nightmares, and Poe in return would cradle me close and help me get back to sleep. Poe was becoming my shield and my protector, without even asking if he could. He would hold me through the tears and the lashes out in pain and anger, and yet he remained.

I thought about why he would want to stay with me, after all, the times I was crying in front of him and looking more like a mess than anything. He didn't deserve me, and I would think that I should break it off with him and let him go on and live his own life without me and my broken involved. I didn't want to drag him in with my pain, have him stay with me while I knew I was too much for one person to take in on their own.

"I thought I would find you up here," I stayed still as I knew that voice now, walking up right behind me and sitting down next to me without being far too loud. Poe was close enough to me as he was touching me, shoulder to shoulder and sitting Indian Style now as I was. I kept my own eyes on the base now as people were walking to and fro on the hanger, going to their X-Wings or just chatting with one another before they would go off to their training and protocols. I could see from where I was sitting Rey and Finn talking to one another, small smiles on their faces and BB-8 in the middle of the both of them as I finally mustered enough of my voice to tell Poe what was on my mind.

"You're in deep thought," Poe said to me in his calming tone, having me tear my eyes away from the base below and look over at him. He was growing out his hair a bit, but it was still styled in the way he would normally have it done when he would get up in the morning. He was wearing his Captain attire, the dark brown outfit that had his sigma there on his sleeve and his boots on as well, which was such a contrast to what I was wearing in my normal mechanic shirt and pants and my pilot jacket there.

"I was thinking about this past month, all that happened to me," I said to him, seeing him still watch me now with a cock of his head, "I feel like you don't deserve to be with me." I paused when I said that, seeing him look at me with a hint of hurt there on his face and with his eyes. I knew this was going to be a rough conversation, and I wanted it to be over and done with now since I was thinking about it far too much.

"You don't need to be with someone that's…damaged." I said it in such a cringing way now as I was thinking of myself in such a manner now, my heart already feeling tender about it, "You should be happy, not taking on my misery with me since what happened to me as left me nothing but—" He slammed his hand down on my own now, silencing em from going on with my conversation and rant about myself not as we looked eyes again, my eyes getting a bit watery from all the things I was saying about myself now. But the way Poe was watching me, it was almost like he was both hurt and full of love at the same time, and I've never seen him look at me that way before. It was scaring me.

"You're nothing but strong, after what happened to you," He said to me in his calm tone now, like we were just talking the both of us and nothing else was tainted or broken, "I know what it's like, to have him in our head and for him to twist it around. I know how hard it is, to try and come back from what he did to you." I felt like a fool for forgetting that he went through the same thing, not as intense as myself, but he knew what it was like. He knew how it felt, the isolation of being alone and yet the probing sensation that someone was in his brain. He knew, and he stayed with me still.

"You're not damaged, Atta. I know that it's easy to think that you are, but you're not. And if you think that getting rid of me, getting me to not be with you is going to be easy for me, it won't. I still love you, and there is nothing that you could say to me that would make me not be with you anymore," Poe said to me in almost a promise now as I sighed out, letting out that pain that I was feeling there within my chest now as he said that. There was no real reason for him to stay with me, at least in my mind really.

"You are far too good for me, Poe Dameron," I said to him in almost a sincere manner now, leaning over to place my shoulder against his and place some of my own weight there. He just grinned at me, looking at me all over with his eyes the same way that he would before he would lean over to kiss me. It made me freeze there as he leaned in to kiss me on the lips, a sweet and soft kiss that was beyond rare. I held the kiss there as we were sitting there on top of the hill, the rest of the planet moving underneath us. I have missed this with Poe, the both of us in our own world and with nothing to hide among us. I could feel it in how he was kissing me, one hand in my hair and the other still holding my own hand there on my leg, that he was not going to leave me alone to got through this battle. He was sticking by me, through and through as we pulled away and stared at each other for a good solid moment or so.

"Let's get through this, together, okay?" he asked me in his low tone now, almost a murmur from who close we were together as his fingers went from being in my hair to resting on my neck. This was the start of a new life for the both of us, a new adventure that we both would have to face side by side. Even after the First Order losing it's Starkiller Base, even after then being defeated for the current moment, it was more about Poe and I having to face whatever lies ahead together. So I grinned at him now, nodding my head in agreement.

"Okay."

The End.


End file.
